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[Evil Vito]

Lethal Lottery: Survivor Series team edition!

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito Lethal Lottery: Survivor Series team edition!

I mean, I knew who was going to be on the show; it was just a matter of who I was going to have in singles matches and who was going to be on a team. I managed to hammer things out but this last week has demanded a lot from me so I haven't been able to advance to the next show just yet. Damn Cristina Scabbia's arm around me keeping me distracted.

[M-A-G]

Working on the next show and I realized I'm not that far away from Slammy Award time. I figure I leave it up to you to pick the winners. I don't have all of the nominees but I have the categories. Take a gander:

Superstar of the Year (this will probably be an open field)
Woman of the Year
Match of the Year
Rookie of the Year
Shocker of the Year
Douche of the Year
Tag Team of the Year

I can't think up any other categories. Maybe Best Hair like HHH won back in '97 but who knows?

[M-A-G]

Oh, right, Manager of the Year is another one. I can think of someone who'd be a shoo-in for that one....

[Evil Vito]

Well Hotbody is obviously a lock for Douche of the Year, which then sets up the ring announcer adding it to his intro to Hotbody's dismay. That should be GOLD Jerry, gold!

And yeah the Manager of the Year has to be a Luscious selection I'm sure.

Shocker of the Year might just be Hail and Bennett returning because in the context of your universe, legends leaving the company is generally the end of the road for them so not one but two guys returning at once must've been a surprise.

Rookie of the Year feels like it could go to Eddy Clash given his immediate impact of stealing MITB but then again I forget who is a rookie in this world.

[M-A-G]

Superstars: November 1, 2040

Not really going to advance too much for this show but it does start the build for a few things for Survivor Series. Let's get to it.

We open things up with the NEW WWE Unified World Champion Wrakk in the ring. "The dark days of the WWE have returned!" he claims. "The dark future that I intended to build last year has finally arrived. The people who held this title in the time that I was gone did what they could to the best of their abilities but it's all for naught. It was a falsehood. A brief interruption of what was to be the Kingdom of Pain. Everyone back there had better listen up and listen up good. You're not dealing with some easily broken poster boy like Noah Carmichael. The situation just got a whole lot more real. I've been waiting for this for over a year and I am more than willing to and more than capable of making things very miserable and very uncomfortable for anyone who wants to try to take this from me. You can line up from here to the damn moon. None of you can ever put me through what I had to endure all that time away from this championship. I'll knock you all down with a smile on my face and a sick pleasure in my heart. NO ONE can step up to me now that justice has been served and this title is back where it belongs!"

Well this is just asking for the lights to go out and the music of Haven to hit. The Dark Shepherd does indeed make himself known as he makes his way out to the stage and glares at the Unified World Champion. Wrakk doesn't seem surprised as he addresses this interruptor. "Haven...right on schedule. I had a feeling you weren't going to pass this moment up. It's like I know you better than you know yourself."

"If that had any degree of truth to it, Wrakk, you would've managed to walk away victorious at No Mercy."

"Now, see, I knew you were going to bring that up, Haven. You know what I say to that? Keep your battle! I won the war! I've got the Unified World Championship. You've got NOTHING! Your words are hollow and you know it. The real man around these parts is the man who wears this title."

"Then I suppose the next step for me is to become the man who wears that title, that is if you're absolutely sure of your belief that you've won the war."

"I'm already way ahead of you, Haven. Like I said, I've gotten to know how you think from all of this time we've had to do this dance. I knew you'd try to leverage something out of me because of what went down at No Mercy and I'm certainly not afraid of another step into the lion's den. I have no intention of letting my Kingdom come to another abrupt end. So here's the plan: you and me, one more time. This time, the Unified World Title is on the line at Survivor Series...NO HOLDS BARRED!"

"Bold of you. Bold on so many fronts. Your so-called kingdom certainly won't end abruptly...I'm going to slowly burn it to the ground." And with that Haven takes his leave as the new champion glares back intently.

Backstage, Ozzy Mandias would like to get a couple of things off of his chest. He's extremely disappointed with how things turned out in regards to the Cruiserweight Title match at No Mercy. That was supposed to be a defining moment. The people were looking forward to a new champion being crowned in that match but they were let down. Fortunately, there's one person that they can put all of the blame on for that: MARTYN LASALLE! LaSalle screwed the pooch at No Mercy. All he had to do was stick with the program and things would have turned out differently! Ozzy and the entire WWE fanbase expect a full apology from LaSalle soon because it's his fault things turned out the way they did.

First Match: Ethan Lang vs. Tom Foley
Lang's quest to the top begins! I've got just the manager in him mind for him but it's a matter of making him worth a damn first. A nice solid dominant victory should help. Lang finishes Foley off with the Bitter Languish for the pin. ****1/2, 76% overall.

Second Match: The Lady Liberties vs. The Pacific Connection
Gotta get more of the new ladies over. Faith and Jenna sadly won't be around forever. Oh, but if only. Anyways, I'm probably going to use the same manager for Lang and the Lady Liberties. It should give them a boost of credibility. The Liberties finish Mika off with the Stars & Stripes and that's enough for the pin for the faces. ****, 72% overall.

Third Match: Lyle Morris vs. Patrick Dean Quartermaine
I have some stuff in store for Lyle now that I've got his cousin Chet back from rehab. Better give him some wins now while I can to make it count for something. Lyle picks up the pin off a jackknife roll-up. ****, 81% overall.

It's taken me this long to realize I've got another DUD show on my hands.

Fourth Match: The Love Connection vs. The Wolves of Wall Street
I've got the Love Connection pegged for a slot at Survivor Series. Well, maybe just for the pre-show. I'm still working out the details. I feel like I've taken a step back with Caleb Greene. I broke up his team with Lonny Richards earlier in the year and now I've got him back stuck in another team. At his age, though, and all of what he's done in his career it's not like there's a big need to shoot him the card as a singles guy. The tag division needs the help more, I say. Anyway, this match manages to overcome the DUD show being a little bitch by rocking pretty good. London gets isolated and gets double-teamed by the Connection with the Heated Affair for the pin. With the current tag champions as heels I can probably squeeze a PPV match out of these guys and the Royal Effect. Maybe at the Rumble. Who knows? *****, 85% overall.

Backstage, Quinten McDaniels would also like to get some things off of his chest, namely things directed towards Seth Von Kamp. He brings up the Beat the Clock challenge from a while back and once again notes Seth Von Kamp beating him in that series by ONE SECOND. Quinten made it a point to ensure that one second difference wasn't going to be the thing that defines him. He also wasn't going to allow Seth to coast on that and advance his career by just dumb luck. Seth escaping No Mercy with the Intercontinental Title was one thing; Seth getting a crack at the Unified World Title all because of that ONE SECOND DIFFERENCE?!? Hell to the no! Quinten vows to make sure Seth never forgets that one second. If Seth wants to do something about what Quinten did on Raw, he knows where to find him.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with the WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey. Naomi hopes that No Mercy settled a lot of questions anyone might've had regarding her and Eclypse. Eclypse should be thanking her lucky stars that she has a cousin like Naomi who was willing to look past her irrelevance and ask her to be partners. Naomi wanted to make history and she wanted to make that history with family. Apparently that was asking too much! Everyone here witnessed it; Eclypse's ego and selfishness and incompetence eventually came out and screwed everything up and nobody can put that on Naomi!!! She only did what she had to do to keep Eclypse in her place! It pained Naomi to have to do what she did to her own family but with Eclypse coming for the Women's Title, a title Naomi earned, Naomi will be happy to put Eclypse down the next chance she gets! She can't just step up to---

No, wait; hold that thought! Eclypse decides to interrupt these proceedings! It looks like Naomi is getting that chance she spoke of. Eclypse walks to the ring with furious intent giving Naomi some time to think. Not too much time, though, as she jumps into the ring and continues where she left off at No Mercy! It's another brawl between these two that goes all over the place. Eclypse has Naomi down and she stalks the champion as she's down and trying to crawl away. Naomi manages to get enough distance between the two of them and she kicks the ring steps into Eclypse's knee. Naomi gets her second wind and proceeds to capitalize on this turn of events. After beating on Eclypse for a while, she sets up Eclypse's leg across the steel steps and proceeds to bash it with a chair! Looks like she wasn't kidding. Officials eventually get off their asses and come down to try to stop things but it looks like the damage is done. How bad has Eclypse been fucked up?

Fifth Match: WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Royal Effect vs. The Tokyo Titans
The champions get on the mic and want to brag about what happened at No Mercy. McKay wants to make it clear that regardless of what Adam Hail would have done, he and Kavovit would have walked out of No Mercy as the champions no matter what. So anyone wanting to criticize how things went down should be ignored because they're just being haters wanting to take away from their rightfully earned victory. Their win was the just the final piece of the puzzle needed so that everyone can see that the Royal Effect is the greatest team in the WWE. And to think they only formed a few months ago! Every team looking to take their shot at the Royal Effect had better understand what they're getting into. This is another match that survives the DUD show's effects as it ends up rocking. No need to job the new champions out here. McKay puts Wu away with the Mass Effect for the pin. *****, 86% overall.

Sixth Match: Hannah McCormick vs. Leah
McCormick has decided to be the one to answer the challenge laid out by Nathan Quinn and Leah on Raw. She claims that she and Bobbi Jo aren't going to apologize for becoming the new Women's Tag Team Champions. They did what they had to do. Leah and Bonnie would've done the same thing. Now the belts are where they belong and not attached to a couple of punks like Faith and Jenna. The people now have women champions they can be proud of and emulate because the Southern Belles are about class and skill rather than aimless debauchery! Granted, Leah and Bonnie might just be a step up above Jenna and Faith but they're still second rate in comparison to the Southern Belles. And Hannah is going to prove it right now! This is two heels going at it so naturally it's going to suffer in the reaction department. It's still technically a good match as these two know what to do. The ref gets bumped after Leah comes off the top with a crossbody and Hannah moves out of the way. Hannah knocks Leah down and tries going for her belt. Leah dropkicks Hannah down as she re-enters the ring, knocking the belt out of her hands. Leah picks up the belt and Nathan Quinn encourages her to hand it to him and to go wake up the referee. Leah does so but WHAT THE FUCK?!?! NATHAN SLIPS THE BELT BACK TO HANNAH WHILE LEAH'S BACK IS TURNED!!! Hannah takes the belt and smacks Leah in the back of the head with it!!! The referee comes to as Hannah tosses the belt back to Nathan! Hannah goes to the top and hits Leah with the Spotlight! The ref counts the pin!!! Nathan and Bobbi Jo enter the ring and they all celebrate together! WTF IS GOING ON?!? Has Nathan Quinn been in cahoots with the Southern Belles all along?!? ****, 66% overall.

MAIN EVENT: WWE Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp and Ryan Pattillo vs. Quinten McDaniels and Brandon Reigns
Seth Von Kamp gets the mic and addresses what Quinten had to say earlier. Seth wouldn't be much of a champion if he were to choose to base his whole career around one second. Seth is going to be remembered as a champion because of the amount of ass he kicked. So with that said, there is something Seth is going to do about Quinten robbing him of the Unified World Title and hopefully he shows up. Seth is willing to give Quinten another crack at the Intercontinental Title and it's going to be at Survivor Series. There, Quinten can bring all of his grievances, all of his whining, and all of his indignation. Seth will happily welcome all of that, because he's going to shove it up Quinten's ass. Announcing TWO major title matches on a Superstars? What universe is this? A universe that gives us all a pretty good main event like this, apparently. It comes down to Pattillo and Reigns as the legal men. They end up brawling on the outside, triggering the ten count from the referee. Reigns sends Pattillo back in and he looks to follow in order to break the count but the music of Eddy Clash hits! This distracts Reigns as he turns to see Eddy making his way out. Reigns shouts some threats at Big Thunder warning him to stay away but the ref ultimately reaches the count of ten and that gives the faces a countout win. Eddy hobbles down looking to get a piece of Reigns but the Money in the Bank winner has had enough for the night and he takes his briefcase and bails. Quinten gets knocked around a bit by Pattillo and Seth before he's able to find an opening to make his own escape. *****, 85% overall.

Overall show rating: 81%

[Evil Vito]

What exactly are the aesthetics of Wrakk and Havoc? There have been plenty of dark, brooding, gothy-type characters in wrestling and for some reason it's always hard to visualize how they would work as a champion. Even thinking back to Undertaker's title runs from 2004-11, the dude just wasn't on TV half the time. What would be the closest proxy to how Wrakk and Havoc are supposed to look?

Depressing thought washed over me that in 2040, Tom Foley might be Dewey's kid.

Ethan Lang and The Lady Liberties being managed by the same guy, Lang can achieve GOAT status if he ends up banging them.

Alternatively the throple angle can be reserved for Nathan Quinn and the Southern Belles. Actually kinda funny to imagine a couple of classy Southern gals being entwined in that kind of thing.

I hate the dreaded realization that it's a DUD show, but as always your DUD shows are still pretty good. It still kinda cracks me up when I see a 5 star match but an 85% rating. I know the crowd reaction is obviously weighing it down for that and it's like, damn people, what could possibly be more interesting?

[M-A-G]

Haven (not Havoc) is supposed to be kind of like this messianic leader. He used to head this stable called the Order as a heel, if you can imagine something like the Ministry. Only his alignment has changed so it's just this same kind of doctrine-driven guy but he's beating the shit out of bad guys. The name Haven is supposed to conjure imagery of just that: a safe haven, a savior. His attire would be mostly white but invoke a sense of authority and order, almost church-like. Wrakk is along the lines of Wrath or Rhyno, just a monster of dude who looks jacked and terrifying as all fuck. It made sense to me once I had Haven as a face that eventually I'd put them together in a program.

Tom Foley being a descendant of the Hardcore legend himself would be something. I actually think I could have fun with that idea, if a little mean-spirited. "Yo, "DAD"! Maybe you'd have turned out to be a decent father if grandpa actually had the balls to cane you!!!"

I swear I never thought of a threesome thing with Lang and the Lady Liberties but if you want to go by the profile pics I assigned to Katie and Zoey I wouldn't fault Lang one bit. Hell, I'd give the sucker a raise and have him headline WrestleMania if some fucker managed to pull that off. The Liberties would have to dump the wholesome Female Team Angle thing I gave them.

There's certainly more to come with Nathan's plans. Again, wouldn't fault the dude for trying and succeeding to bed a couple of hot southern gals. I blame Rogue from X-Men for giving me that slight kink in the back of my head.

[Evil Vito]

I like how I read it and yet I still had Havoc in my brain instead of Haven God damn Halloween Havoc. The idea of mostly white gear immediately makes me think of Mordecai but way less cringey.

the cane Dewey reference would always be timeless. Mick would be 75 by this point, almost certainly bound to a wheelchair but I'm certain he could still cut a killer promo.

Yeah I could see why Rogue would definitely do it for someone. Well, minus the whole "can't actually touch them without getting your soul sucked out of you" thing.

[M-A-G]

Oof, this last week took a lot of time away from me. I did SmackDown! already but finding the time to sit down and do the report was a pain. I had a lot on my plate, sadly. Maybe another round of pandemic can force my hand to focus on the fabulous and luscious adventures of Michael Hotbody.

[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: November 2, 2040

We open with the new WWE Women's Tag Team Champions, the Southern Belles, who are being accompanied by Nathan Quinn. No doubt they need to explain to everyone what the hell is going on and why Nathan decided to screw over his former clients, the Perfections. Nathan takes the mic and boasts about what he did. "Can any of you really blame me for what I did to Leah and Bonnie? When I began my career to cultivate the best talent under my watch and guidance, I needed winners. Proven winners. Solid commodities that would stand the test of time. Leah and Bonnie were NOTHING when I stumbled across them. They couldn't handle the likes of Faith and Jenna when it mattered the most. Hannah McCormick here, on the other hand, is the goods. She's a Queen of the Ring winner. She's been in some of the biggest women's matches in WrestleMania. And she's mentored Bobbi Jo over here into a worthy partner. These are the women I want representing me. That's why I made sure they walked out of No Mercy the champions. They've been owed that level of recognition several times over. There just needed to be a few "obstacles" removed out of the way. Nobody watching this should hold my actions against me because believe me when I say that this is only the beginning."

Hannah takes the mic and continues the verbal beatdown. "It is just the beginning, Nathan, and no, nobody should hold what you did against you. Because this has been the year of people fed up with not getting what they've been owed and doing something about it. None of us are going to feel guilty about winning these belts. We're not going to feel sorry for the propped up poster girls, Faith and Jenna. We're DEFINITELY not going to feel sorry for Leah and Bonnie, who time and time again, failed to take advantage of the opportunity given to them by being managed by a legend like Nathan Quinn. You two failed to live up to the trust you were given and what that did was open up a slot for Bobbi and I. We'll do what you couldn't accomplish and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!"

Cue Leah and Bonnie who are going to try to do a damn thing about it. The Perfections rush the ring and try to get some of the new champs and it leads to a quick 2-on-2 brawl before the champions decide to bolt at the direction of Nathan Quinn. Threats are exchanged between all parties as this is evidently a face turn for the Perfections. But what did Nathan mean when he said this was only the beginning?

First Match: Ethan Lang vs. Jerome McDougal
Pre-match, Jerome's manager, Aaron Ramsey decides to set the stage for this by claiming he made an overture to Ethan Lang but was shot down. Is Ethan too good to accept help? He can't take a compliment? If there's one thing to take away from what everyone witnessed at the top of the show it's that you need to be wise about who you want to associate with! It's fine, though, because Jerome McDougal can take this kid to school and show him the error of his ways. Ethan Lang comes out but takes the mic and wants to set the record straight. He claims that he's flattered to receive such attention but the truth is that he had another offer that he was entertaining and the ink is still wet from that deal. So what better time than now than to introduce the man who is willing and able to mentor Ethan Lang? Ladies and gentleman, please welcome back to the WWE...JAKE CONNELLY!!!

The crowd goes into frenzied confusion at this announcement and HOLY SHIT! Ethan wasn't fucking around! Jake Connelly is here! He hasn't been seen since his retirement match against Brandon Reigns! Aaron Ramsey and Jerome flip the fuck out in outrage. There's not a lot they can do, however, as the match is underway. It's some good shit, Jake Connelly's return aside. Fast forward to the finish as Aaron tries some of his interference shenanigans but Connelly yanks him off the apron and KOs him with the Vision Impairment. Jerome is all "WTF?" and Ethan capitalizes with the Bitter Languish to score the pin. Connelly joins Ethan in the ring and raises his hand. What more is to come from this partnership? And who else, if anyone, does Connelly have his eye on? ****1/2, 86% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with the WWE Women's Champion, Naomi Bailey. She wants to address the multitude of changes that have been happening in the WWE recently. A new Unified World Champion. New tag team champions, both in the men's and women's divisions. Managers getting new clients. Jake Connelly returning. But there's no need for anyone to worry because there is still one constant: Naomi Bailey is STILL the best damn thing going on in the women's division and she has proof because she is STILL the Women's Champion! The only one real major change going on with Naomi Bailey is that she made the smart decision to dump the dead weight that was dragging her down! Naomi was tired of carrying Eclypse and her toxicity around. She took her shot and failed miserably and what happened to her last night on Superstars was the exclamation point. Eclypse got what was coming to her and she's been sent back to whatever hole she likes to crawl into. If she were smart, she'd take the loss at No Mercy and the ass-kicking she got to heart and stay away. Eclypse took her name too literally and was keeping Naomi out of the spotlight she's earned! Now, NO ONE, is in Naomi's way and NO ONE can stop her path of dominance!

Cue someone who is going to try to stop Naomi's path of dominance. HOLY SHIT!!! SONYA BRADDOCK!!! IT'S GOD DAMN SONYA BRADDOCK!!! The crowd loses their shit as the former champion slowly saunters down to the ring. Naomi is wide-eyed, not believing what she's seeing. Braddock eventually enters the ring and Naomi raises her mic to protest this turn of events but Sonya just KOs the champ with the Left Hand of God before Naomi can get a second word out. That gets a huge pop and Braddock looks down on Naomi briefly before leaving and walking back up the ramp without a word. This has been quite the SmackDown!.

Second Match: The Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody, Zed Jones, and Galino & Farnes vs. The Wasteland and The British Infection
That poor chevron having to hold all of that information. It's all well-deserved, according to Hotbody. On Raw, Luscious held his sack in her hands and it was just loaded with love! Yes, love from all of the good believers! It was just the boost he needed and now he is on an important quest to find his next challenger! But it's not just a one-man show. He'll gladly share the love with his fine partners here. This is another quality outing here tonight. Hotbody, of course, doesn't really feel like doing much. It comes down to Zed Jones and Nate Exley and Luscious remembers that she hasn't shown the referee her chest tattoo so she uses this opportunity to do so. Fantasee gets involved and Hotbody uses this opportunity to get Exley GAVEL OF DOOMED and Zed capitalizes by going for the pin, giving the heels the win. ****1/2, 91% overall.

Backstage we're finally getting a chance to hear from the former Women's Tag Team Champions, the Lonely Girls. They're not interested in the drama and politics surrounding Nathan Quinn. The bottom line is their titles were stolen. Leah and Bonnie can feel as cheated as they want and that's certainly fair. The Lonely Girls absolutely support their desire to get revenge...they're just going to have to wait their turn.

Third Match: Dusk vs. Lzzy Ryd
Dusk continues to be cool as fuck. I'm hoping I can make something out of her. Faith and her could do some good shit, I think. Another thought for another time. Lzzy is on the menu right now, though. It's hard-hitting and physical but it's not Lzzy's night. Dusk reverses the Jam Session into the Final Sunset and gets the pin. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Fourth Match: Xavier Cross vs. Michael Haywood
Well this rocks all kinds of ass. Haywood actually has Cross on the ropes as we begin to reach the go home point. Ziggy Styles decides to make a nuisance of himself by continuing his scuffle with Haywood. Cross pushes his way out of Haywood trying to lock in the Rage Quit and Ziggy drops Haywood's throat on the top rope and that leads to Cross hitting the Cross Cutter to score the pin. Ziggy rolls into the ring post-match and wants to get him some more of Haywood. It's not looking good for the former Play Pal but we're continuing a theme here tonight AS KYLE JACOBS MAKES HIS RETURN TO MAKE THE SAVE!!! The heels bail as the crowd once again loses their shit. What's going on here tonight? *****, 96% overall.

More In-Ring Super Special Talky Time, this time with Martyn LaSalle. LaSalle points out that he is here without the Cruiserweight Title around his waist. Apparently there's a reason for that and he's been told that Ozzy Mandias has all of the answers surrounding this issue. Well, LaSalle has the time so Ozzy can feel free to make himself known right now and explain it to everyone.

Ozzy Mandias eventually makes his way out and joins LaSalle in the ring. LaSalle says that he heard from Ozzy that LaSalle is reason we don't have a new Cruiserweight Champion and that he can't wait to hear this explanation so let's get to it. Ozzy accuses LaSalle of failing everyone. The plan was perfect. Hotbody was helpless and was ripe for the picking. All LaSalle had to do was finish the job. It should have been easy. But no; LaSalle locks in his weak ass submission hold and couldn't get Hotbody to tap in time before all of Hotbody's buddies came down to screw it all up. LaSalle gave them the time because he couldn't get the job done. From there, it was just one domino falling after another and before you knew it, Hotbody was the last man standing and he got to leave No Mercy with the title. Everyone should blame Martyn LaSalle and Martyn LaSalle should issue an apology to everyone he let down that night...starting with Ozzy Mandias.

LaSalle gets in closer to Ozzy and offers his take. "Maybe next time, pick rock instead of paper. You're not getting an apology out of me but if you think my submission is weak, you're more than welcome to get locked in it and you can tell me how weak it is after I yank your arm out of its socket. You need to quit being a crybaby. You're not owed anything and I'm beyond tired of conversations like this. You want to settle things and make a real statement and try to put me in my place, I'll tell you what. I've got no plans for Survivor Series. It's one of the biggest stages we've got here in the WWE. You show up and take me on and you can try to get an apology out of me then and there. Otherwise, piss off and quit wasting my time."

Ozzy ponders this over before accusing LaSalle of not taking responsibility. His offer is intriguing, however, but he'll have to get back to him on that. Maybe LaSalle can use the time to reconsider his stance on his guilt. And with that Ozzy rolls out of the ring and leaves LaSalle with his thoughts.

Fifth Match: Blaine Bellamey vs. King Kavovit
Neither man has their respective partner with them. Bellamey takes this opportunity to try to goad Kavovit into giving the Wyldhearts a title match. Kavovit tells him to earn one because the Royal Effect aren't in the business of just handing them out. Bellamey claims that he'll earn one right now by beating Kavovit. This is another awesome outing from Kavovit. Blaine helps...sort of. McKay eventually tries to make himself known but Robbie Greer comes out as well to put an end to those plans. The ref is distracted by all of this and MADISON SNEAKS INTO THE RING AND LOW BLOWS KAVOVIT!!! WTF is going on here tonight? Blaine takes advantage with a victory roll and gets the pin. That's FOUR returns on one night!!! *****, 94% overall.

Sixth Match: WWE Unified World Champion Wrakk vs. Cameron Harper
Have to give the champ a solid win here to keep him strong. We get word that the main event for Survivor Series is set as Wrakk will be defending the title against Haven. Harper, in another universe, is probably in a better position but he's got to face the music here and make Wrakk look good. Wrakk hits the Demon Cross and gets the win. Post-match, the lights go out and when they come back on, Haven is in the ring with his hand around the throat of Wrakk!!! Wrakk is wide-eyed but before anything can happen the lights go back off and when they come back on Haven is gone and Wrakk is by himself looking confused as all hell, looking around for Haven. Haven's voice comes over the house mic simply saying "Anytime". Haven looks to be trying some psychological tactics. ****1/2, 93% overall.

MAIN EVENT: Adam Hail vs. Mathias
Hail mocks Paul Andrews for sending in his second-stringer in Mathias. Neither Andrews or Bennett should take things so personal but if this is the avenue they want to take, well, Hail can't be held responsible for what happens next. For what I'm paying out for this segment, it'd better be fucking good. It comes down to both men being knocked down. The ref starts the count but WTF is this? Nathan Quinn comes out of the crowd and nails Paul Andrews from behind!!! This gets the ref's attention and that allows Lonny Richards to come running down and he boots Mathias down as he's trying to get to his feet. Hail climbs to the top and hits the Hail Storm and the ref turns back around and counts the pin for Hail! Quinn and Richards celebrate along with Hail. Simon Bennett again tries to get him some of Hail in the name of revenge but he gets obliterated along with Mathias. Was this what Nathan Quinn was talking about earlier?!? ****1/2, 89% overall.

Overall show rating: 87%

[Evil Vito]

Well holy shit, this reads like what the post-WrestleMania episodes of Raw used to be where every segment you were wondering if there would be a new debut or return and chaos ensued at every turn.

Were all of these guys injured in-game and then happened to be eligible to return right around the same time? It's cool to even see a retired wrestler come in and still continue to get used in a mentor role. Hey, you might be retired but you're still getting a paycheck...get back to work!

[M-A-G]

The only legit injured person out of that group was Madison, who had a triceps tear. The other 3, Connelly, Braddock, and Jacobs, were just given a break. I usually do that from time to time to let other things develop and to set things up for later down the road. Connelly is a manager full-time now and hopefully he can lend a hand to some of these young whippersnappers. Braddock is a non-wrestler anyway so her being absent from a lot of shows doesn't diminish things for her. I think it gives her PPV appearances a much bigger boost in terms of specialness. Now she can pick up where she left off in regards to feuding with Naomi. Ditto with Jacobs as he can continue his thing with Cross. I want Survivor Series to be stacked so here we are.

[M-A-G]

LOL, we were talking about gimmicks earlier and now I'm sitting here tossing ideas around for the most recent NXT call ups. Imagine a dude who's an Evil Knight headlining WrestleMania.

[Evil Vito]

So I've had the craving to do a Fire Pro tournament for the first time in a while, especially with NJPW's G1 Climax on the horizon. Figure this is the most appropriate thread for it since, technically, it really is a sim. I'm just booking matches and letting the CPU do its thing and watching it unfold.

So I'm gonna do an AEW version of the G1 but on steroids.

Traditionally it was a 20-man tournament with 2 blocks doing a Round Robin. 19 shows, 9 each per block. Each show would have a bunch of prelim tags featuring the next night's block participants, and then 5 block matches. Night 19 would be the finals.

Instead I'm doing a mammoth 40-man tourney across 4 blocks. Night 1 will have 5 A Block matches and 5 B Block matches, Night 2 will have 5 C Block and 5 D Block matches etc. Night 19 will be the semi-finals and night 20 the finals.

In reality it would be impossible to watch a tourney like this because it would be like 3 hours of wrestling a night for over a month. But in Fire Pro land where I can watch matches play out at 200x speed and blow through it? Hell yeah.

I'll write up the results for each night like it was an actual event recap or something. Dunno. Playing an actual booking sim where I make the decisions requires creative energy I do not have ATM

[M-A-G]

:lov e: FINALLY...the Vito...HAS COME BACK...to the wrestling sim topic!!!

As you can see, I put my thing on the back burner for now but I'll look forward to what you got. I'll see about what I can do for a Luscious reward for returning.

[Evil Vito]

It is night 1 of the AEW's Grand Climax Tournament! Tonight, we will see 5 A Block matches and 5 B Block matches. Fans and competitors alike have been kept in the dark on who is even in this tournament, who is in their block and even who they are facing tonight.

Justin Roberts announces that our opening contest will be from the A Block. One can only wonder what surprises will lie ahead...



The crowd gasps as, holy shit, MJF is here! We haven't seen him since he famously and publicly demanded to be fired over a month ago! He has evidently returned to win this tournament and possibly give himself even more contract leverage.

MJF soaks up the combination of heel heat and adulation for a while before the music of Wheeler Yuta hits. The ROH Pure Champion and popular young member of the Blackpool Combat Club charges out to the ring and we are on!

A Block: MJF vs. Wheeler Yuta

MJF's return match didn't look like it would go as planned at the start with Yuta catching MJF off guard with some high octane offense, requiring MJF to beg off for a bit. The announcers point out that Yuta was in NJPW's Best of Super Junior tournament earlier in the year, and he's well-prepared for the endurance required to get through a grueling tournament of this style.

MJF eventually gets the upper hand, ironically, using some underhanded tactics including busting out the Dynamite Diamond Ring. MJF counters a clothesline from Yuta into the Salt of the Earth armbar and that's all she wrote.

Winner: MJF
Time: 14:01
Rating: 80%
---

We're told we'll be alternating blocks tonight as B Block is next. "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes is out to a big hand, followed by Scorpio Sky.

B Block: "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes vs. Scorpio Sky

Chances are quite good that the 53-year old Rhodes will be the oldest participant in this tournament, how will his body hold up over 9 block matches? Fortunately for him, Sky's head didn't seem fully in the game here, possibly still dealing with the disappointment of dropping his TNT Title to Wardlow recently. He picks Dustin up for a TKO but Dustin slides out. Scorpio leaps up to try a hurricanrana but is reversed into a powerbomb pin for a flash pin.

Winner: Dustin Rhodes
Time: 10:36
Rating: 76%
---

Dustin celebrates his win. Sky sulks to the back. On the way back, Sky is passed by his Men of the Year teammate Ethan Page, apparently up next for the A Block. He gets a tough draw as "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer charges out next.

A Block: "All Ego" Ethan Page vs. "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer

Page is at both a size disadvantage as well as an experience one as Archer has experience in the actual G1 Climax tournament from which this tournament is based. Anyway, despite both guys being good talents I don't think anyone in the arena was prepared for what happened.

Both men brawled all over ringside, flirting with countouts. Archer's EBD Claw was too close to the ropes and Page slithered out. Similarly, Archer's long legs thwarted Page from making a pin attempt many times.

What people probably assumed would be a run of the mill undercard match ended up getting perilously close to being a time limit draw that had the fans on their feet by the end of it. The big man Archer attempts to go up top in desperation, only for Page to knock him into a seated position on the turnbuckle. He hits a Vanity Search on the big man for a huge win! Good luck to everyone else following this one.

Winner: Ethan Page
Time: 27:25
Rating: 96%
---

B Block: Daniel Garcia vs. Samoa Joe

After what fans just saw, I'm not sure how they will hold up for 7 more matches tonight but the show must go on, and these two were a treat to be paired up against one another.

Both men are known for their hard strikes and their submission ability, but neither man could make the other tap. Joe had to call in the heavy artillery and put down Garcia with the Muscle Buster.

Winner: Samoa Joe
Time: 12:14
Rating: 85%
---

In a similar site to Sky and Page earlier, Garcia worked his way to the back only to be comforted by the leader of the Jericho Appreciation Society, that's right, Chris Jericho is here and in the A Block! He gets an interesting round 1 matchup against the charismatic Swerve Strickland.

A Block: Chris Jericho vs. Swerve Strickland

It would seem the always arrogant Jericho didn't think too much of his opponent nor did he seem concerned. He talks down to Swerve early on and physically controls the match for the first half of it until Swerve gives him a taste of his own medicine, forcing Jericho onto the offensive.

Jericho eventually gets back in the catbird seat, puts Swerve on the top rope to try and give him a superplex. Swerve pushes him off and leaps off the top for a Swerve Stomp! And holy shit, Swerve beats Jericho in what has to be viewed as a big early upset!

Winner: Swerve Strickland
Time: 10:08
Rating: 82%
---

B Block: Malakai Black vs. Powerhouse Hobbs

A potential clash of styles in this one. Hobbs, as his name would imply, is a powerhouse through and through while Malakai relies on a more vicious kick-based arsenal. This is another match that probably went longer than people expected, with both men throwing everything they have at one another.

Hobbs gets Black up for a Powerslam, but Black rolls out. Hobbs turns around directly into a Black Mass kick, and that's that. The leader of the House of Black starts his tournament off with a W.

Winner: Malakai Black
Time: 19:42
Rating: 83%
---

A Block: Darby Allin vs. Kyle O'Reilly

These two kick off their tournament with a rematch, KOR having beaten Darby at Double or Nothing back in May. That was considered to be a pretty good match, this one sadly was not.

Actually a fairly one-sided affair, Darby doesn't seem to have learned from their last meeting as KOR had a counter for everything, including countering a top rope splash into a Guillotine Choke. Darby taps and KOR starts off with a relatively easy 2 points.

[b]Winner: Kyle O'Reilly
Time: 9:47
Rating: 61%
---



We've got ourselves another return as the crowd gets on their feet within 2 notes of Flight of the Valkyries. Blackpool Combat Club's Bryan Danielson is back to kick some fucking heads in! And he's drawn a man synonymous with the latter days of ROH in his first match.

B Block: "The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal attempted to quiet the crowd who were showering Bryan with "YES" chants even though that's not his gimmick anymore. Nothing really could've stopped this momentum though.

It was far from the strongest showing for Bryan, who looked like he was shaking off some ring rust. Lethal was able to counter the Running Knee, only to then turn around right into a rollup for a flash pin.

Winner: Bryan Danielson
Time: 9:53
Rating: 80%
---

A Block: Andrade El Idolo vs. Rey Fenix

Our A Block action for the night ends with another rematch, this time between two men who just had a banger a couple of weeks ago on Rampage. This match wasn't quite to the same lofty standards but it was still a very solid performance all around.

Also much like the last match, the rematch did not see a reversal of result. Fenix misses a senton, Andrade picks up the pieces with an El Idolo armbreaker to get the victory.

Winner: Andrade El Idolo
Time: 11:50
Rating: 83%
---



THE CHAMP IS HERE! Wait, wrong guy. We've got our 3rd and final surprise return of the evening as AEW World Champion CM Punk makes a return to join what is looking like a very crowded B Block.

B Block: CM Punk vs. PAC

B Block gets even stronger and it's a fitting way to close out the inaugural tournament show, with a Champion vs. Champion match between the World Champion and the All-Atlantic Champion. On paper, this should've been a dream match and truth be told, it was still nothing to sneeze at, but these two guys just didn't seem to gel like expected.

Neither guy could successfully connect with a finish, which is always a great way to tease a crowd. But perhaps spending the night watching the B Block action unfold and realizing Malakai Black was possibly PAC's most hated rival, Punk decided to break out a Roundhouse Kick of his own. This put PAC down and, to the surprise of the crowd, was enough to get the win.

Winner: CM Punk
Time: 11:12
Rating: 77%

C and D blocks will get kicked off on the next show, bah gawd what other twists and turns could lie ahead!

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito It is night 1 of the AEW's Grand Climax Tournament! Tonight, we will see 5 A Block matches and 5 B Block matches. Fans and competitors alike have been kept in the dark on who is even in this tournament, who is in their block and even who they are facing tonight.

I'm going to assume this will have zero connection to your previous AEW sim in EWR but is going off of real world continuity?

Justin Roberts announces that our opening contest will be from the A Block. One can only wonder what surprises will lie ahead...

Maybe there will be something that causes Justin Roberts to...*ahem*...choke up....

The crowd gasps as, holy shit, MJF is here! We haven't seen him since he famously and publicly demanded to be fired over a month ago! He has evidently returned to win this tournament and possibly give himself even more contract leverage. MJF soaks up the combination of heel heat and adulation for a while before the music of Wheeler Yuta hits. The ROH Pure Champion and popular young member of the Blackpool Combat Club charges out to the ring and we are on! A Block: MJF vs. Wheeler Yuta MJF's return match didn't look like it would go as planned at the start with Yuta catching MJF off guard with some high octane offense, requiring MJF to beg off for a bit. The announcers point out that Yuta was in NJPW's Best of Super Junior tournament earlier in the year, and he's well-prepared for the endurance required to get through a grueling tournament of this style. MJF eventually gets the upper hand, ironically, using some underhanded tactics including busting out the Dynamite Diamond Ring. MJF counters a clothesline from Yuta into the Salt of the Earth armbar and that's all she wrote. Winner: MJF Time: 14:01 Rating: 80% ---

Have to say just by appearance, MJF reminds me of the Miz. His "fire-me-oops-wait-I'm-back" is such a George Costanza move. Is the ROH Pure Title still a thing? I used to follow ROH when we carried the channel but I said goodbye to cable companies a long ass time ago.

We're told we'll be alternating blocks tonight as B Block is next. "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes is out to a big hand, followed by Scorpio Sky. B Block: "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes vs. Scorpio Sky Chances are quite good that the 53-year old Rhodes will be the oldest participant in this tournament, how will his body hold up over 9 block matches? Fortunately for him, Sky's head didn't seem fully in the game here, possibly still dealing with the disappointment of dropping his TNT Title to Wardlow recently. He picks Dustin up for a TKO but Dustin slides out. Scorpio leaps up to try a hurricanrana but is reversed into a powerbomb pin for a flash pin. Winner: Dustin Rhodes Time: 10:36 Rating: 76% ---

Even in video game world, fucking 50+ year old Dustin Runnels still going will always be hilarious.

Dustin celebrates his win. Sky sulks to the back. On the way back, Sky is passed by his Men of the Year teammate Ethan Page, apparently up next for the A Block. He gets a tough draw as "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer charges out next.

Men of the Year and Murderhawk are actually pretty boss names.

B Block: Daniel Garcia vs. Samoa Joe After what fans just saw, I'm not sure how they will hold up for 7 more matches tonight but the show must go on, and these two were a treat to be paired up against one another. Both men are known for their hard strikes and their submission ability, but neither man could make the other tap. Joe had to call in the heavy artillery and put down Garcia with the Muscle Buster. Winner: Samoa Joe Time: 12:14 Rating: 85% ---

The employment situation of Joe confuses me. I could've sworn he was in WWE again a while back.

In a similar site to Sky and Page earlier, Garcia worked his way to the back only to be comforted by the leader of the Jericho Appreciation Society, that's right, Chris Jericho is here and in the A Block! He gets an interesting round 1 matchup against the charismatic Swerve Strickland.

Swerve Strickland? Please tell me he specializes in propane and propane accessories.

B Block: Malakai Black vs. Powerhouse Hobbs A potential clash of styles in this one. Hobbs, as his name would imply, is a powerhouse through and through while Malakai relies on a more vicious kick-based arsenal. This is another match that probably went longer than people expected, with both men throwing everything they have at one another. Hobbs gets Black up for a Powerslam, but Black rolls out. Hobbs turns around directly into a Black Mass kick, and that's that. The leader of the House of Black starts his tournament off with a W. Winner: Malakai Black Time: 19:42 Rating: 83% ---

I've seen that Black guy's name tossed around here and there, more so than some of these other guys. Wasn't he one of the big names that got the axe from NXT a while back?

A Block: Darby Allin vs. Kyle O'Reilly These two kick off their tournament with a rematch, KOR having beaten Darby at Double or Nothing back in May. That was considered to be a pretty good match, this one sadly was not. Actually a fairly one-sided affair, Darby doesn't seem to have learned from their last meeting as KOR had a counter for everything, including countering a top rope splash into a Guillotine Choke. Darby taps and KOR starts off with a relatively easy 2 points. [b]Winner: Kyle O'Reilly Time: 9:47 Rating: 61% ---

I love it when the computer gives zero fucks about the real world and produces results that are like this. I remember simulating an Iron Man Match between Rob Van Dam and Chris Jericho and RVD ended up with like 25 decisions in his favor.

We've got ourselves another return as the crowd gets on their feet within 2 notes of Flight of the Valkyries. Blackpool Combat Club's Bryan Danielson is back to kick some fucking heads in! And he's drawn a man synonymous with the latter days of ROH in his first match. B Block: "The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson vs. Jay Lethal Lethal attempted to quiet the crowd who were showering Bryan with "YES" chants even though that's not his gimmick anymore. Nothing really could've stopped this momentum though. It was far from the strongest showing for Bryan, who looked like he was shaking off some ring rust. Lethal was able to counter the Running Knee, only to then turn around right into a rollup for a flash pin. Winner: Bryan Danielson Time: 9:53 Rating: 80% ---

I've mentioned that I haven't played a wrestling video game in over 15 years but I do have to ask: did they ever incorporate the "YES!" chants in the WWE 2K games? Or did they go the extra mile in their burial attempts and downplay him there, too?

THE CHAMP IS HERE! Wait, wrong guy. We've got our 3rd and final surprise return of the evening as AEW World Champion CM Punk makes a return to join what is looking like a very crowded B Block. B Block: CM Punk vs. PAC B Block gets even stronger and it's a fitting way to close out the inaugural tournament show, with a Champion vs. Champion match between the World Champion and the All-Atlantic Champion. On paper, this should've been a dream match and truth be told, it was still nothing to sneeze at, but these two guys just didn't seem to gel like expected. Neither guy could successfully connect with a finish, which is always a great way to tease a crowd. But perhaps spending the night watching the B Block action unfold and realizing Malakai Black was possibly PAC's most hated rival, Punk decided to break out a Roundhouse Kick of his own. This put PAC down and, to the surprise of the crowd, was enough to get the win. Winner: CM Punk Time: 11:12 Rating: 77%

LOL, that "THE CHAMP IS HERE" bit made me call back to Punk's feud with Cena a decade ago. I wonder if he'd get in any trouble if he was to wear the Cena shirt with that phrase on TV. Of course, him rocking pro-choice apparel is good enough.

Once again, welcome back to the land of the simming. I've never worked with Fire Pro but whatever works, I suppose. I don't know when I'll get back to my game but I can work on the Slammy Award nominees so that I can be prepared for when they roll around after Survivor Series.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G I'm going to assume this will have zero connection to your previous AEW sim in EWR but is going off of real world continuity?

Yeah, I can't see myself getting back into that EWR game. I started it on February 2021, only made it to June 2021 and in the past year AEW's roster has grown exponentially. I'd be hard pressed to go that far back when I know the real world is just so different and I could be throwing bangers out there every single week with the talent on the current roster.

If I were to do an EWR game again it would almost certainly be another restart. But two issues....A) I know myself well enough to know I'll get writers block quickly, B) a nearly 20-year old EWR really isn't meant to sim modern wrestling, especially with how much everyone's stats drop once you hit 35 years old. Nowadays guys are performing at a high level into their mid-40s and beyond, can't really replicate that in EWR.

Have to say just by appearance, MJF reminds me of the Miz. His "fire-me-oops-wait-I'm-back" is such a George Costanza move. Is the ROH Pure Title still a thing? I used to follow ROH when we carried the channel but I said goodbye to cable companies a long ass time ago.

Miz and MJF are very much comparable. Much as I wanted to hate on Miz for a long time, the man has always been a genuine heat magnet. MJF might be the Miz on steroids (well, not literally), his shoot promo where he demands to be fired was viewed as one of the best in recent years. I have no idea when he'll actually return to AEW but in Fire Pro land, sure what the hell.

The ROH Pure title was deactivated a long while ago but reactivated in 2020. ROH basically closed up shop last year but Tony Khan bought them out. For now, AEW contracted talents hold most of their titles but I believe the plan is to get ROH on TV and eventually hire an ROH-exclusive roster.

The employment situation of Joe confuses me. I could've sworn he was in WWE again a while back.

WWE have had like 3 or 4 massive firing waves since the start of the pandemic, along with a number of guys asking to be released. Joe I believe got fired, rehired, and then fired again. He wants to wrestle and WWE think he was too injury prone. So off to AEW he goes. I should've mentioned he is also holding an ROH title at the moment (the ROH TV Title).

Swerve Strickland? Please tell me he specializes in propane and propane accessories.

I dunno if I'd buy propane from him but I'd probably buy something else.

I've seen that Black guy's name tossed around here and there, more so than some of these other guys. Wasn't he one of the big names that got the axe from NXT a while back?

Yeah he was another in the long line of WWE cuts last year. Wrestled in WWE at Aleister Black. Held the NXT title for a while, got called up to the main roster and was squandered for a solid 2 years before getting cut.

I love it when the computer gives zero fucks about the real world and produces results that are like this. I remember simulating an Iron Man Match between Rob Van Dam and Chris Jericho and RVD ended up with like 25 decisions in his favor.

Yeah that's the fun thing about Fire Pro especially, anyone can win. Yes certain characters will always be favored and have higher stats but at the end of the day it's a RNG happening behind the scenes. Upsets will happen.

I've mentioned that I haven't played a wrestling video game in over 15 years but I do have to ask: did they ever incorporate the "YES!" chants in the WWE 2K games? Or did they go the extra mile in their burial attempts and downplay him there, too?

Prior to this year (the first GOOD entry in the series in an eternity), the last one I played was like 5 years ago. They actually did incorporate YES chants and even scripted it so the crowd would visually chant along. One of the few good things about those games.

LOL, that "THE CHAMP IS HERE" bit made me call back to Punk's feud with Cena a decade ago. I wonder if he'd get in any trouble if he was to wear the Cena shirt with that phrase on TV. Of course, him rocking pro-choice apparel is good enough.

I doubt he could actually wear real WWE merch on AEW TV. There was a PPV match last year he had against Eddie Kingston where both guys were face but the night of the show the crowd seemed to be siding more toward Eddie, so Punk leaned into it and started working through Cena's 5 Moves of Doom. Wonderful bit of trolling when the crowd figured out what he was doing.

[Evil Vito]

I think I'll stick with Fire Pro for a while because I don't have to do an actual fed or league, I can just do tournaments or dream matches whenever I want because the roster is literally endless, you can download anyone from any time period. After I finish this I could do a Round Robin tourney of Attitude Era WWF, for example.

In terms of the text-based sims, TEW 2020 has sounded like the best bet in terms of being equipped to sim the modern day wrestling landscape. Haven't tried it as I figure I'll get overwhelmed. But it's at least tempting to be playing a game where stuff like this can happen on its own.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito In terms of the text-based sims, TEW 2020 has sounded like the best bet in terms of being equipped to sim the modern day wrestling landscape. Haven't tried it as I figure I'll get overwhelmed. But it's at least tempting to be playing a game where stuff like this can happen on its own.

I hereby declare that had that actually happened in real life, WCW would still be around today!

[Evil Vito]

Night 2 of the AEW Grand Climax tournament coming in hot...tonight we learn the other 20 men competing in the tournament as the C and D blocks kick off.

After Justin Roberts states that our opening contest will be in the C Block...the music of Ricky Starks hits. The FTW Champion and member of Team Taz saunters out as our first participant of the evening. He grabs the mic from Roberts and shoots his mouth off about how this tournament will be the crowning moment he's been waiting for, and how there isn't anybody in this field who will stop him. He holds his FTW Championship high above his head as he awaits his challenger...



IT'S HOOK! The crowd loses their shit as Taz's son makes his way out to the ring. Although he's been palling around with Danhausen of late, Hook is still a member of Team Taz and he's now got to battle his stablemate, who also happens to hold the title his dad made famous.

C Block: "Absolute" Ricky Starks vs. Hook

Hook is 10-0 in his young career and now he's got his toughest challenge yet. The crowd goes nuts for Hook as Starks can't believe this draw. As soon as the bell rings, Hook starts off with a belly to back suplex and Starks immediately takes a powder.

It takes a bit of a feeling out process but Starks eventually goads Hook into more of a standard wrestling match, trying to be wary of the suplexes and chokes that Hook is known for. At one point, Hook locks in the Redrum but Starks is just close enough to the ropes. A reversal out of a suplex turns into Starks picking Hook up for the Roshambo and the win.

Winner: Ricky Starks
Time: 10:27
Rating: 80%
---

Starks, in a rare moment of doing the right thing, helps his fellow Team Taz member to his feet to enjoy a hand from the crowd. Although Hook has the first blemish on his AEW record, him being in this tournament is going to gain him a new level of experience.

Shortly after the Team Taz members depart, the theme of AEW's newest signing hits and I have to post it because my god it's such a banger.



D Block: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Buddy Matthews

It's Blackpool Combat Club vs. House of Black as Claudio and Buddy square off. These two have a history together, having faced each other multiple times in WWE so it's only fitting that their paths should cross again on this stage.

This match does not disappoint in the slightest as they beat the tar out of each other for nearly 20 minutes. Buddy hits the ropes aiming for a running knee, but Claudio reverses, throwing him into the air and into a massive uppercut. He quickly picks up the pieces and hits the Neutralizer for the win.

Winner: Claudio Castagnoli
Time: 19:44
Rating: 90%
---

C Block: Frankie Kazarian vs. Penta Oscuro

A relatively solid match given the potential styles clash involved, Kazarian is far more of a technician in his older years contrasted with the unique mix of brawling and high flying that Penta brings to the table.

Although Frankie is a good guy, the crowd is solidly behind Penta as always, and he doesn't disappoint them, eventually catching Frankie in a Pentagon Driver for the win.

Winner: Penta Oscuro
Time: 9:14
Rating: 73%
---

D Block: "Limitless" Keith Lee vs. "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara

Speaking of styles clashes, this is a match that really entertains me to think about, because Sammy can sell his ass off like not many others can and here he would get to bump for a huge dude who can also move like a guy his size shouldn't be able to.

Sammy misses with a 630 Senton, allowing Keith to seize the moment and get him up for a Spirit Bomb for the win. After Jericho lost to Lee's partner Swerve Strickland last night, Sammy follows it up with a loss to Lee. The Jericho Appreciation Society has started the tourney 0-3, not how they drew it up.

Winner: Keith Lee
Time: 8:28
Rating: 76%
---

The music of "Hangman" Adam Page hits and the crowd loses it. Those cheers soon turn to a hushed silence as the music of Luchasaurus takes over.

C Block: "Hangman" Adam Page vs. Luchasaurus

Having recently turned heel, Luchasaurus has gone from a lovable monster to a downright terrifying one, making him about as tough of a test for the always popular Hangman as possible. Luchasaurus is another very athletic big man, err, dinosaur, doing things a being his size shouldn't be able to do.

Hangman fights out of a few nearfalls and takes everything Luchasaurus throws at him, but he can't seem to put the big man down himself. Hangman eventually mounts another rally, heads to the apron, flips in for the Buckshot Lariat but NO! Luchasaurus catches him by the throat. Chokeslam, and the win. Luchasaurus has pinned the former World Champion in what has to be an early upset.

Winner: Luchasaurus
Time: 9:32
Rating: 82%
---

As Luchasaurus is about to exit the heel tunnel, "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora hits which means Jungle Boy is here! He charges out of the face tunnel and makes a beeline straight for his former tag partner Luchasaurus! Security immediately intervene and forceably separate the two.

After he gets into the ring, "Jane" by Jefferson Starship plays over the PA which can only mean the arrival of Orange Cassidy.

D Block: Jungle Boy vs. "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy

The crowd is electric for this one as the first night of the D Block sees two of AEW's most popular competitors get paired off. The crowd is really split right down the middle with dueling chants right out of the gate.

This match kicked it into high gear and never really let up as there were a heaping helping of nearfalls on both sides. Fire Pro's crowd reactions get louder and louder when a match registers as hot and this one certainly qualifies. In the end, Orange prevails with a Beach Break and 2 points.

Winner: Orange Cassidy
Time: 16:20
Rating: 89%
---

C Block: Brody King vs. Jon Moxley

Buddy vs. Claudio featured a House of Black vs. Blackpool Combat Club battle, and now we're getting another one here. Mox just defeated Brody to retain the Interim AEW World Championship the other night, and now has to do it again all while knowing that at the end of this tournament, he'll have a date with the newly returned CM Punk to determine the true World Champion.

Anyway, these two went hell for leather in what can only be described as a violent brawl both in the ring and at ringside. Imagine having to fight a huge, tattooed 6'8" dude twice in the span of a few nights? Not a walk in the park for Mox by any stretch. He eventually gets a Paradigm Shift that knocks King out cold, and the ref calls for the bell in a critical stoppage decision!

Winner: Jon Moxley
Time: 17:04
Rating: 93%
---

D Block: Adam Cole vs. Wardlow

Welcome back from concussion protocol, Adam Cole. Your reward is you get to face the brand new TNT Champion who has been known to Powerbomb his opponents into oblivion.

The size difference between these two men is very apparent, as Cole attempts to be crafty and avoid being caught in Wardlow's grasp for any length of time. It doesn't work. As soon as Wardlow seizes control of the match, it's game over. Wardlow ends up hitting Cole with two Powerbombs and he gets the win in, by this tournament's standards, short order. If Wardlow's gonna do this to a perennial World title contender in Adam Cole, he could well be establishing himself as the favorite in the block.

Winner: Wardlow
Time: 7:00
Rating: 70%
---

C Block: Eddie Kingston vs. "The Redeemer" Miro

Our C Block action closes off with a rematch from All Out 2021. These two had a total banger for the TNT Title back then, and Miro came out victorious. Unfortunately, this one didn't live up to the hype as it should've. This is sorta the Fire Pro equivalent of a non-clicky show, except thankfully just for certain matches instead of the shows.

Even still, it wasn't a bad match...more in the realm of watchable, just wasn't what I thought it'd be pairing them up. Both guys were heavy on the striking throughout, and Eddie ends up avenging his loss from nearly a year ago, putting Miro down with the Uraken spinning elbow.

Winner: Eddie Kingston
Time: 12:36
Rating: 73%
---

And time for our main event. Christian Cage enters as the 39nd participant in the tournament, soaking in enormous heat. Since turning on Jungle Boy a few weeks ago, he's become possibly the most hated man in AEW. Now to see who is opponent will be...



Bah gawd! Entry #1 saw the surprise return of MJF and now entry #40 features the even more shocking return of Kenny Omega. We haven't seen him since he lost the AEW World Title to Hangman Page back at Full Gear in November. People wondered if he'd ever return, and now he's here!

D Block: Christian Cage vs. Kenny Omega

The crowd absorbs the return of Omega. As the winner of the actual NJPW G1 Climax tournament in 2016, he knows exactly what it takes to survive this grueling schedule. And he's no stranger to Christian, they've split a pair of decisions last year, with Christian besting him on the debut episode of Rampage and Omega returning favor with a win at All Out.

It's a beautiful thing in Fire Pro when you can have a short-ish match that draws a high rating because it's just bell-to-bell action that never lets up, and that was this match in a nutshell. Both men threw the kitchen sink at one another in rapid succession, with plenty of nearfalls to go around.

Omega charges Christian in the corner looking for a V-Trigger, Christian ducks and sends him knee first into the corner. LOW BLOW! Christian then spins Kenny around and hits the Killswitch. 1-2-3! The crowd is stunned as Christian has out of nowhere spoiled Kenny's grand return! Boos rain down upon Christian as he flashes that punchable smirk of his while the show goes off the air.

Winner: Christian Cage
Time: 10:47
Rating: 94%

[Evil Vito]

Night 3 of the AEW Grand Climax tournament is upon us as the A and B Blocks return for their 2nd night of action.

B Block: "Red Death" Daniel Garcia vs. "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes

Garcia is the second-youngest man in this tournament, but this match with Rhodes features the largest age gap in block play. At a staggering 30-year difference, Garcia was born when Rhodes was going through his weird preacher stage in WWF.

Anyway, these two had an absolute barnburner to kick us off, Dustin sticking predominantly with his old school brawling and Garcia using his kicks and submission acumen. Garcia attempts to lock Dustin into an Abdominal Stretch which is countered into a School Boy for a win.

Winner: Dustin Rhodes
Time: 17:01
Rating: 96%
---

A Block: Rey Fenix vs. Swerve Strickland

We go from a more hard-hitting opener to a battle of flashy speedsters as Swerve looks to ride some momentum off of his upset tournament-opening victory over Chris Jericho.

Unfortunately for Swerve, he ran into a Rey Fenix that was every bit on his A-game. This match was just in full throttle the entire time and ended with Fenix connecting with a Fenix Driver to secure his first points.

Winner: Rey Fenix
Time: 8:39
Rating: 84%
---

B Block: Jay Lethal vs. PAC

Here we have our first matchup between participants who started their tournaments off on a losing note and looking for redemption. They also seemed hellbent on following up the opening B Block match of the night, and they gave it their best shot with a ton of drama and nearfalls.

PAC goes for a top rope suplex but gets shoved off the top. Lethal follows it by paying homage to Macho Man with a Flying Elbow Drop for the victory. In addition to getting his first points of the tournament, Lethal might be able to lay claim to a future shot at PAC's All-Atlantic Championship.

Winner: Jay Lethal
Time: 13:46
Rating: 93%
---

A Block: Kyle O'Reilly vs. Wheeler Yuta

On paper, this is a match that should've had all the makings of a technical masterclass. In practice, it was the 2nd straight KOR match in the tournament that just didn't quite live up to expectations. He did his job for certain, but he certainly wasn't looking to impress anybody nor get paid by the hour.

KOR is a master of not only submissions but he also has so many suplexes with pinning combinations, it's only a matter of time before his opposition succumbs, as was the case here with Yuta being put down with a Northern Lights Suplex. The former ROH World champion takes down the current Pure champion.

Winner: Kyle O'Reilly
Time: 10:25
Rating: 71%
---

B Block: Scorpio Sky vs. Samoa Joe

Oh my word, the B Block is having an incredible night tonight in terms of match quality. Another match that was packed with drama and had the crowd on their feet from the variety of near-falls that were seen. This match also saw the recurring theme continue of champions being dropped.

Joe picks Sky up for a Muscle Buster but he's able to wrangle himself free and then impressively pick the larger man Joe up onto his shoulders. Sky hits him with the TKO and takes down the ROH TV Champion in a fantastic bout.

Winner: Scorpio Sky
Time: 16:51
Rating: 97%
---

A Block: Andrade El Idolo vs. "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer

Having nearly been forced into a near-30 minute draw only to come up with a losing effort in his last contest, Archer charged into the ring tonight hoping to put down the smaller Andrade in quick fashion. The shrewd Andrade was prepared for this and attempted to use his shiftiness to play Archer's overeagerness against him.

A stunned Andrade sat on the top rope, Archer walked over to get him into position for a Blackout, only for Andrade to reveal he was playing possum and boot him in the face. Andrade leaps off the ropes with a Diving Senton to collect 2 more points.

Winner: Andrade El Idolo
Time: 11:40
Rating: 78%
---

B Block: Powerhouse Hobbs vs. "The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson

On paper there would seem to be some similarities to this match as the previous - big powerful dude vs. resourceful dude. It's also tough to imagine a universe where Bryan Danielson would have the worst match of the night, but such is life in Fire Pro simulations.

Bryan had an answer for everything Hobbs threw at him, whether it be an elbow strike, knee strike, or a good-ol' fashioned brutal submission. Hobbs lifts Bryan up for a Powerslam but Bryan is able to clasp his hands around Hobbs neck and shoulders. Hobbs collapses down into the LeBell Lock and Bryan forces him to tap out.

Winner: Bryan Danielson
Time: 7:24
Rating: 68%
---

A Block: "All Ego" Ethan Page vs. MJF

The combined cockiness of these two men would probably be enough to form a sucking black hole that would envelop the entire arena and maybe even the entire ZIP code. But the crowd on this night decided to support Page as the babyface. Both because MJF is the heeliest of heels in the business, and also out of appreciation for Page pulling out a MOTY candidate the other night.

Somehow, someway, Page topped his performance from a few nights ago. The crowd was absolutely losing their minds at the back and forth nature of this one, and cheering Page on as he wrestled his way to the ropes out of the Salt of the Earth armbar on multiple occasions. Page ducks MJF's attempt to hit him with the Dynamite Diamond Ring, then hits him with the spinning Uranage he refers to as the "Spinning Dwayne". Page scores a big upset and wins a classic!

Winner: Ethan Page
Time: 18:56
Rating: 99%
---

B Block: Malakai Black vs. CM Punk

We last saw CM Punk winning a match with a roundhouse kick, reminiscent of one Malakai Black. Well now he gets to face the man himself to close out the night's B Block competition. The match ran a bit shorter than expected, but it still delivered a solid showing.

The announcers pointed out that Punk's next challenger, the interim World champion Jon Moxley, beat House of Black member Brody King via knockout the other night. Punk seemed determined to do the same thing. He hits the leader of the House of Black with not one but two GTSs, forcing the ref to call the bell for a knockout win! What a statement to Moxley from CM Punk.

Winner: CM Punk
Time: 7:56
Rating: 81%
---

A Block: Chris Jericho vs. Darby Allin

Although the block assignments were a surprise until competition started, if you'd seen the blocks ahead of time, these two men would've jumped out as being among the favorites for A Block. The tournament is young, but things can slip away from you in a hurry if you have too bad of a start, and now these two favorites are squaring off to avoid a dreaded 0-2 start.

The bulkier Jericho outpowered Darby for most of it, but couldn't do enough to put him down. The speedster threw caution to the wind, throwing his body at Jericho from the top rope and ring apron with reckless abandon. Darby eventually starts a string of three straight rapid fire pinning combo attempts, visibly wearing Jericho out. The fourth ends up being the charm as the Last Supper puts Jericho down for three. Darby's got his first points and Jericho starts 0-2!

Winner: Darby Allin
Time: 14:19
Rating: 92%

[M-A-G]

Dustin Rhodes continuing to have a strong showing remains funny as hell. Even his video game interpretation has this aura about it that is fueled by spite. It wouldn't surprise me if he ends up taking this whole thing. My money is on Punk but I'm probably going to be disappointed.

I actually have some time coming up for myself on the first week of August. I might use that time to do a deep dive and finish up the month of November on my game.

I can present some of the nominees for the Slammys later and see what you think. I'm not expecting anything major to qualify for the rest of the year so this should be enough but if something comes up I'll add it in.

[Evil Vito]

Second night of C and D blocks coming in hot.


D Block: Claudio Castagnoli vs. "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara

Blackpool Combat Club vs. Jericho Appreciation Society action to kick us off as the crowd is red hot for Claudio. They have themselves a fine opener to start off the evening, I'm laughing imagining Sammy's facial expressions when the time comes to sell the giant swing.

Sammy eventually starts to take control and attempts to springboard off the ropes but it results in a stiff uppercut. Neutralizer finishes it off, Claudio continues his early AEW winning streak as the JAS falls to 0-6 in the tournament.

Winner: Claudio Castagnoli
Time: 10:51
Rating: 83%
---

C Block: Frankie Kazarian vs. "The Redeemer" Miro

Perhaps he was up until the wee hours of the morning having riotous sex with Lana, but Miro just looked completely off his game here and never got out of the box against an opponent he would've been viewed as a considerable favorite over.

Kazarian controls the pace throughout as Miro struggles to really do anything, winning with a Northern Lights Suplex in the worst match of the tournament thus far. Miro will need to live up to his nickname and redeem himself soon.

Winner: Frankie Kazarian
Time: 7:56
Rating: 58%
---

D Block: Adam Cole vs. "Limitless" Keith Lee

OK, these two have chemistry together from their time in NXT so it should serve as a nice palate cleanser after that stinker of a match that preceded it. Tough draw for Cole having to face the two largest competitors in the block back-to-back, but he had a better strategy in this one as he attempted to use a ground game to work on one of Lee's knees.

Later in the match, Lee picks Cole up for the Spirit Bomb but his knee gives out! Down to one knee in pain, Lee has no way to see Cole bounce off the ropes behind him and lay down The Boom! The knee to the back of the head puts Lee down for the count and gets Cole on the board.

Winner: Adam Cole
Time: 12:17
Rating: 84%
---

C Block: Hook vs. Luchasaurus

Hook was taking a hell of a risk entering this tournament after only 10 matches of professional experience, but the value of facing top-tier competition can't be understated. Many would've thought this match had squash potential and instead Hook proved to be a tough son of a bitch just like his dad taught him.

Hook's sole focus on this match was to choke Luchasaurus out as he went for the Redrum constantly but could never quite cinch it in. Luchasaurus eventually slides out of it, picks Hook up and connects with a Burning Hammer to win it.

Winner: Luchasaurus
Time: 10:47
Rating: 87%
---

For the second C/D Block show in a row, Jungle Boy is booked right after Luchasaurus and he makes a bee-line for him on the way out the ramp. These two have a lot of bad blood and will have to settle their differences in the ring someday.

D Block: Jungle Boy vs. Wardlow

Jungle Boy might have business with Luchasaurus looming in the future, but for now he has to deal with the TNT Champion Wardlow who we last saw running through Adam Cole like a hot knife through butter. Jungle Boy was all fired up in this one, taking the big man off guard on more than one occasion.

The crowd rose to their feet at numerous times in this one with Jungle Boy throwing everything at the champion, including a tope suicida. Several near falls to build drama. Wardlow stunts momentum with a huge lariat. Goes to pick up Jungle Boy for a Powerbomb and it's reversed into a Hurricanrana! 1-2-3! Jungle Boy has pinned the TNT Champion!!!

Winner: Jungle Boy
Time: 14:41
Rating: 95%
---

C Block: Brody King vs. "Absolute" Ricky Starks

What a tough act to follow that match was, thankfully in Fire Pro we don't have to worry about matches being downgraded solely because they came after a banger! King and Starks were up to the task though, continuing the night's theme of large man vs. smaller opponent.

Starks wrangles his way out of a gorilla press, impressively gets the big Brody up for a flash Fisherman's Suplex to grab 2 more points. Starks is off to a great start in his tournament.

Winner: Ricky Starks
Time: 12:37
Rating: 87%
---

D Block: Buddy Matthews vs. Kenny Omega

Matthews just watched his House of Black teammate get off to an 0-2 start and doesn't want to do the same, meanwhile Omega comes off of a surprise loss in his return match. Plenty of matches in this tournament are ones I'd actually want to see in real life, but this one might be near the very top of the list based on stylistic similarities.

Both men were working at a breakneck pace throughout, sometimes quite literally with the number of suplex variants being handed out. They also both need to be checked for concussions from how often they kneed each other in the face. Omega gets Buddy up in a Fireman's Carry, slams him down and then connects with a Moonsault to win.

Winner: Kenny Omega
Time: 12:20
Rating: 87%
---

C Block: Penta Oscuro vs. Jon Moxley

As JR would say, this match was bowling shoe ugly. Both men brought out the hardcore brawler in each other as this match went out to the floor numerous times with a chair being introduced into the mix. It's more of a shock that somebody didn't draw blood.

Penta reverses out of the Paradigm Shift on two separate occasions, forcing Mox to dig further into his bag of tricks to pull out another move. The Hook and Ladder, a move he rarely uses to finish matches anymore, ends up putting Penta down for the count.

Winner: Jon Moxley
Time: 9;14
Rating: 68%
---

D Block: Christian Cage vs. "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy

Much like the last contest, the D Block main event featured two men who got off to winning starts in the tournament, and you can't really find two polar opposites in terms of crowd reaction. The crowd hates Christian's guts, and he made sure to soak in every ounce of heat as he tried a ground and pound approach on Cassidy.

Cassidy wouldn't yield though, and Christian's unrepentant dickery eventually caused the normally aloof Cassidy to come alive and start mounting a big comeback. Cassidy goes for the Stun Dog Millionaire, Christian blocks. Christian goes for the Killswitch, Cassidy blocks. Cassidy connects with an Orange Punch and gets the dub to a huge pop.

Winner: Orange Cassidy
Time: 12:58
Rating: 82%
---

C Block: "Hangman" Adam Page vs. Eddie Kingston

Two of the most popular competitors in AEW lock up in this one, and they wasted no time in just pelting each other with fists and forearms. Before too long this one resembled a fight more than it resembled a wrestling match, which is par for the course for Eddie Kingston.

Page ducks a Uraken backfist and picks Kingston up for the Dead Eye. He connects with it and then jumps straight to the apron waiting for Kingston to get back to his feet. Buckshot Lariant and Page gets his first 2 points. That's some real cowboy shit right there. Hangman celebrates with a beer after as we go off the air.

Winner: Adam Page
Time: 8:49
Rating: 80%

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito Second night of C and D blocks coming in hot. D Block: Claudio Castagnoli vs. "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara Blackpool Combat Club vs. Jericho Appreciation Society action to kick us off as the crowd is red hot for Claudio. They have themselves a fine opener to start off the evening, I'm laughing imagining Sammy's facial expressions when the time comes to sell the giant swing. Sammy eventually starts to take control and attempts to springboard off the ropes but it results in a stiff uppercut. Neutralizer finishes it off, Claudio continues his early AEW winning streak as the JAS falls to 0-6 in the tournament. Winner: Claudio Castagnoli Time: 10:51 Rating: 83% ---

Jericho could've called his crew the Jericho's Appreciative People Society. Then the acronym could be...um...

And don't tell me Cesaro is another victim of the WWE exodus/purging?

C Block: Frankie Kazarian vs. "The Redeemer" Miro Perhaps he was up until the wee hours of the morning having riotous sex with Lana, but Miro just looked completely off his game here and never got out of the box against an opponent he would've been viewed as a considerable favorite over. Kazarian controls the pace throughout as Miro struggles to really do anything, winning with a Northern Lights Suplex in the worst match of the tournament thus far. Miro will need to live up to his nickname and redeem himself soon. Winner: Frankie Kazarian Time: 7:56 Rating: 58% ---

Yeah, short of post-coitus exhaustion or congenital heart failure, no way some scrub like Kazarian could take a dude like Miro in a fight.

D Block: Adam Cole vs. "Limitless" Keith Lee OK, these two have chemistry together from their time in NXT so it should serve as a nice palate cleanser after that stinker of a match that preceded it. Tough draw for Cole having to face the two largest competitors in the block back-to-back, but he had a better strategy in this one as he attempted to use a ground game to work on one of Lee's knees. Later in the match, Lee picks Cole up for the Spirit Bomb but his knee gives out! Down to one knee in pain, Lee has no way to see Cole bounce off the ropes behind him and lay down The Boom! The knee to the back of the head puts Lee down for the count and gets Cole on the board. Winner: Adam Cole Time: 12:17 Rating: 84% ---

The Limitless moniker has potential. I'm going through my head to pin down somebody from history that could have carried it but I'm drawing a blank right now.

C Block: Brody King vs. "Absolute" Ricky Starks What a tough act to follow that match was, thankfully in Fire Pro we don't have to worry about matches being downgraded solely because they came after a banger! King and Starks were up to the task though, continuing the night's theme of large man vs. smaller opponent. Starks wrangles his way out of a gorilla press, impressively gets the big Brody up for a flash Fisherman's Suplex to grab 2 more points. Starks is off to a great start in his tournament. Winner: Ricky Starks Time: 12:37 Rating: 87% ---

Yeah, that EWR tendency to fuck you for putting less over guys after a fire of a match can suck but logically you're supposed to be progressively building up the show to the most over people you've got for your main event.

D Block: Buddy Matthews vs. Kenny Omega Matthews just watched his House of Black teammate get off to an 0-2 start and doesn't want to do the same, meanwhile Omega comes off of a surprise loss in his return match. Plenty of matches in this tournament are ones I'd actually want to see in real life, but this one might be near the very top of the list based on stylistic similarities. Both men were working at a breakneck pace throughout, sometimes quite literally with the number of suplex variants being handed out. They also both need to be checked for concussions from how often they kneed each other in the face. Omega gets Buddy up in a Fireman's Carry, slams him down and then connects with a Moonsault to win. Winner: Kenny Omega Time: 12:20 Rating: 87% ---

Buddy Matthews sounds like a character from some '50s TV show.

C Block: Penta Oscuro vs. Jon Moxley As JR would say, this match was bowling shoe ugly. Both men brought out the hardcore brawler in each other as this match went out to the floor numerous times with a chair being introduced into the mix. It's more of a shock that somebody didn't draw blood. Penta reverses out of the Paradigm Shift on two separate occasions, forcing Mox to dig further into his bag of tricks to pull out another move. The Hook and Ladder, a move he rarely uses to finish matches anymore, ends up putting Penta down for the count. Winner: Jon Moxley Time: 9;14 Rating: 68% ---

I'm awaiting the day when Jim Ross going completely off the deep end and mixes up all of his trademarks and calls a match like this by screaming "BOWLING SHOE!!! BOWLING SHOE!!! IT'S BOWLING SHOE UGLY, BAH GAWD!!!"

D Block: Christian Cage vs. "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy Much like the last contest, the D Block main event featured two men who got off to winning starts in the tournament, and you can't really find two polar opposites in terms of crowd reaction. The crowd hates Christian's guts, and he made sure to soak in every ounce of heat as he tried a ground and pound approach on Cassidy. Cassidy wouldn't yield though, and Christian's unrepentant dickery eventually caused the normally aloof Cassidy to come alive and start mounting a big comeback. Cassidy goes for the Stun Dog Millionaire, Christian blocks. Christian goes for the Killswitch, Cassidy blocks. Cassidy connects with an Orange Punch and gets the dub to a huge pop. Winner: Orange Cassidy Time: 12:58 Rating: 82% ---

I honestly don't know how to feel about Christian still rocking the tights. He's most certainly not as banged up as Edge but I still question his choice.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G And don't tell me Cesaro is another victim of the WWE exodus/purging?

Yes indeed he is. In his case, his contract quietly expired in February and apparently they just couldn't agree to terms. The longer he was gone, the more people thought they'd agree to something to return, but instead he signed with AEW in late June.

Yeah, short of post-coitus exhaustion or congenital heart failure, no way some scrub like Kazarian could take a dude like Miro in a fight.

In fairness, I'd happily go 0-9 in the tourney if the only reason was sex exhaustion.

Yeah, that EWR tendency to fuck you for putting less over guys after a fire of a match can suck but logically you're supposed to be progressively building up the show to the most over people you've got for your main event.

So here's where booking a tourney like this differs in Fire Pro than an EWR or even real life. You'd pick your tourney winner, the finalist, and kinda work backwards from there.

In the real life G1, it's treated like an actual sport and in a real sport you'd see your schedule in advance. So when they announce the G1 schedules, you know which night each match is. The one drawback though is you could quite easily look at the final night of the blocks and pretty much figure out where the tourney is going, because obviously they want it to work out so that the block is decided on the final night of the tourney.

In this case, I'm not in control of the outcomes so I just decide the matches on the fly and if two guys position themselves as favorites and haven't fought yet, I'm gonna try to push their match to the end. If I can get to the point where there is a clear cut "this guy wins the block if he wins this match" scenario then that's a win, but it's out of my control.

I honestly don't know how to feel about Christian still rocking the tights. He's most certainly not as banged up as Edge but I still question his choice.

It was one of those things where WWE benched him in 2014 out of extreme caution, and it felt like one of those things where once Bryan managed to get himself cleared after a 2-year retirement, the door would've been open for Christian to do the same but he just never seemed to press the issue.

I do think Edge returning though got him into the mindset where he actually wanted to give it a go.

Funny enough, he returned as a total surprise in the 2021 Royal Rumble (which Edge won). There was a fairly clear path to do some Edge and Christian vs. The Usos stuff on Edge's road to face Roman. Instead, Christian almost immediately bailed and signed with AEW within a month of his return.

[Evil Vito]

Night 5!

"Judas" by Fozzy blares as a very flustered Chris Jericho makes his way out to the ring. He's heard enough shit from people about his 0-2 start to the tournament, and his Jericho Appreciation Society being 0-6 total. He's not going to wait for his match, he's demanding his next opponent get out here RIGHT NOW!

"Everybody Dies" hits and Jericho shits his britches. As and you shall receive as the 6'8" Lance Archer charges his way out to be Jericho's next opponent!


A Block: Chris Jericho vs. "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer

Jericho has seen the blocks and knew who he has yet to face in the block, but arguably Archer was the man he was least hoping for to come down that aisle. Not only is he a big and tough bruiser but he's 0-2 and desperate for a win just like Jericho is.

Archer dominated the early going of the match like a house of fire, but Jericho had a few tricks up his sleeve. A well-placed low block with the ref down brings the big guy down to size, Jericho connects with a Codebreaker to land his first points of the tournament. At 0-3, Archer is an incredibly difficult mathematical spot, and he might be left playing spoiler the rest of the way.

Winner: Chris Jericho
Time: 9:45
Rating: 79%
---

B Block: Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is trying to ride some momentum from his win over the All-Atlantic Champion last time out, while Hobbs is in the same spot as Archer. He ended up meeting the same fate. Picks Lethal up for a Powerslam, Lethal slides off and sends Hobb into the ropes. Leg sweep, diving elbow, done. Both A and B blocks have to contend with big, mean dudes getting off to 0-3 starts.

Winner: Jay Lethal
Time: 11:41
Rating: 75%
---

A Block: Andrade El Idolo vs. Wheeler Yuta

Two opposite trajectories in this man with one man undefeated in the tournament and the other winless. Poor Yuta gave this one his best showing of the tournament, nearly tapping out Andrade on multiple occasions but never quite finishing the job. El Idolo for the win to move 3-0 as Yuta becomes the third straight man tonight to fall to 0-3, as the line to compete for his ROH Pure Championship grows ever larger.

Winner: Andrade El Idolo
Time: 14:28
Rating: 83%
---

B Block: Malakai Black vs. Scorpio Sky

Quite the reversal of fortunes for both men in this one. Black is coming off a knockout loss to CM Punk, while Sky is coming off of a win against Samoa Joe in one of the best matches of the tournament. But let this be an example of how a Round Robin tournament has its ebbs and flows. This match was all Malakai as he just throttles Sky for 9 tortuous minutes and puts him down for a German Suplex for the win.

Winner: Malakai Black
Time: 9:19
Rating: 59%
---

A Block: Kyle O'Reilly vs. Swerve Strickland

Same deal - ebbs and flows. KOR arguably looked like the most dominant man in the tournament with how swiftly he put down his first two opponents, yet tonight Swerve Strickland took him to the absolute limit.

A back and forth encounter which the crowd got really into as it went deeper into the match. Swerve proved himself to be a tough bastard, muscling his way out of several KOR suplex attempts and wrangling his way to the ropes during submissions. Swerve connects with a big lariat and jumps up to the top for a Swerve Stomp for the win!

Winner: Swerve Strickland
Time: 17:15
Rating: 885
---

B Block: "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes vs. PAC

The cagey Rhodes has been one of the surprise performers of this tournament so far, while PAC's still finding himself scrapping for a win. Tough not to start thinking about Rhodes as an ageless wonder with the performance he churned out here. As the speedier PAC tried to quicken the pace, Dustin was able to hold his own and meet him with his strength advantage.

Fans were in for a treat as this was another one they got really into and they bought on all of the drama and near-falls. That sound Fire Pro makes when the crowd starts to get really electric during a tight match is a great noise indeed. PAC locks in a Brutalizer and Dustin refuses to yield, PAC takes a different course, goes up top and hits the Black Arrow for the win to finally get on the board. What a match!

Winner: PAC
Time: 14:11
Rating: 97%
---

A Block: MJF vs. Rey Fenix

Coming off of a surprise loss last time out, MJF looked to regain his composure against the speedster Fenix. MJF had no time for Fenix's lucha shit as he was able to cut Fenix down to size every time he looked to be getting the momentum. Fenix attempts a dive to the outside that MJF sidesteps, causing him to land awkwardly on his arm. MJF slides Fenix back in and immediately cranks back on the Salt of the Earth, bending Fenix's arm in a way it shouldn't. The referee calls for the bell!

Winner: MJF
Time: 7;19
Rating: 84%
---

B Block: Daniel Garcia vs. CM Punk

Jericho finally got the JAS on the board earlier in the evening, could this propel his stablemate to do the same? These two put on a clinic in there, with Garcia very smartly placing an emphasis over working on Punk's knees with an eye towards many of his signature moves, the least of which being the GTS.

This all comes in to play at the finish as Punk does hit the GTS but Garcia is too close to the ropes, sliding himself out of the ring and leaving Punk favoring the knee in the ring. As Garcia recovers, he gets into the ring and relentlessly assults the knee further. He locks in a Sharpshooter and then goes a step further and bridges it for extra torque. With his knee in agony and a long tourney still ahead, PUNK TAPS!!! What an upset!

Winner: Daniel Garcia
Time: 16:39
Rating: 95%
---

A Block: "All Ego" Ethan Page vs. Darby Allin

Tonight's A Block finale features two men with some previous history, as longtime AEW fans will remember Page throwing Darby down a flight of stairs while they were still in the midst of the Daily's Place COVID-era shows. The two wasted no time slugging it out and letting the bad blood flow.

Page has been one of the standout stars of the tournament thus far, putting on two masterclasses and scoring arguably two of the biggest upsets. But tonight was not his night. Darby reverses the Spinning Dwayne into an armdrag and they he quickly puts Page into the Last Supper pinning combination for the victory.

Winner: Darby Allin
Time: 15:06
Rating: 92%
---

B Block: "The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson vs. Samoa Joe

On paper this match was a no-brainer to close out the night as the two have a storied history with one another, battling many times across multiple promotions including a more than 45-minute ROH Title match way back in the day. Although it's been quite a long time since they've faced off, I'm sure their in-ring chemistry would pick right back up again.

Instead we got a match that was solid but nowhere near what it could have been. Them's the breaks in Fire Pro. Bryan is pretty deadly in the Fire Pro realm with so many submission and pinning combinations. Such was on display here as Bryan ducked a clothesline and turned it into a quick backslide for the win just as the match was hitting its second gear.

Winner: Bryan Danielson
Time: 11:27
Rating: 80%

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito Night 5! "Judas" by Fozzy blares as a very flustered Chris Jericho makes his way out to the ring. He's heard enough shit from people about his 0-2 start to the tournament, and his Jericho Appreciation Society being 0-6 total. He's not going to wait for his match, he's demanding his next opponent get out here RIGHT NOW! "Everybody Dies" hits and Jericho shits his britches. As and you shall receive as the 6'8" Lance Archer charges his way out to be Jericho's next opponent! A Block: Chris Jericho vs. "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer Jericho has seen the blocks and knew who he has yet to face in the block, but arguably Archer was the man he was least hoping for to come down that aisle. Not only is he a big and tough bruiser but he's 0-2 and desperate for a win just like Jericho is. Archer dominated the early going of the match like a house of fire, but Jericho had a few tricks up his sleeve. A well-placed low block with the ref down brings the big guy down to size, Jericho connects with a Codebreaker to land his first points of the tournament. At 0-3, Archer is an incredibly difficult mathematical spot, and he might be left playing spoiler the rest of the way. Winner: Chris Jericho Time: 9:45 Rating: 79% ---

Jericho winning anything at this stage in his career will always put me in a tizzy. Archer seems like the kind of guy Vince would cream himself over...IF HE WAS STILL THE BOSS!!!

B Block: Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Jay Lethal Lethal is trying to ride some momentum from his win over the All-Atlantic Champion last time out, while Hobbs is in the same spot as Archer. He ended up meeting the same fate. Picks Lethal up for a Powerslam, Lethal slides off and sends Hobb into the ropes. Leg sweep, diving elbow, done. Both A and B blocks have to contend with big, mean dudes getting off to 0-3 starts. Winner: Jay Lethal Time: 11:41 Rating: 75% ---

I suppose the same sentiment for Archer could be applied to Hobbs. I'm sure Vince would love a guy like that to smash all of those puny cruiserweights...IF HE WERE STILL IN CHARGE!!!

A Block: Andrade El Idolo vs. Wheeler Yuta Two opposite trajectories in this man with one man undefeated in the tournament and the other winless. Poor Yuta gave this one his best showing of the tournament, nearly tapping out Andrade on multiple occasions but never quite finishing the job. El Idolo for the win to move 3-0 as Yuta becomes the third straight man tonight to fall to 0-3, as the line to compete for his ROH Pure Championship grows ever larger. Winner: Andrade El Idolo Time: 14:28 Rating: 83% ---

Tournament formats like this are great to build a dude up and have him go undefeated for a good length and have the question raised of will he lose eventually...KIND OF LIKE VINCE WHO'S FINALLY OUT!!!

A Block: Kyle O'Reilly vs. Swerve Strickland Same deal - ebbs and flows. KOR arguably looked like the most dominant man in the tournament with how swiftly he put down his first two opponents, yet tonight Swerve Strickland took him to the absolute limit. A back and forth encounter which the crowd got really into as it went deeper into the match. Swerve proved himself to be a tough bastard, muscling his way out of several KOR suplex attempts and wrangling his way to the ropes during submissions. Swerve connects with a big lariat and jumps up to the top for a Swerve Stomp for the win! Winner: Swerve Strickland Time: 17:15 Rating: 885 ---

I'm sure he's a nice guy and all but I can't get behind the name Swerve Strickland. Who came up with it, Vince McMahon? Oh, right, he can't BECAUSE HE'S GONE!!!

B Block: "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes vs. PAC The cagey Rhodes has been one of the surprise performers of this tournament so far, while PAC's still finding himself scrapping for a win. Tough not to start thinking about Rhodes as an ageless wonder with the performance he churned out here. As the speedier PAC tried to quicken the pace, Dustin was able to hold his own and meet him with his strength advantage. Fans were in for a treat as this was another one they got really into and they bought on all of the drama and near-falls. That sound Fire Pro makes when the crowd starts to get really electric during a tight match is a great noise indeed. PAC locks in a Brutalizer and Dustin refuses to yield, PAC takes a different course, goes up top and hits the Black Arrow for the win to finally get on the board. What a match! Winner: PAC Time: 14:11 Rating: 97% ---

Boo, the run is over for Dustin. I'm still not giving up on him. An old-timer like him can make a comeback. UNLIKE VINCE WHO'S GONE!!!

A Block: MJF vs. Rey Fenix Coming off of a surprise loss last time out, MJF looked to regain his composure against the speedster Fenix. MJF had no time for Fenix's lucha shit as he was able to cut Fenix down to size every time he looked to be getting the momentum. Fenix attempts a dive to the outside that MJF sidesteps, causing him to land awkwardly on his arm. MJF slides Fenix back in and immediately cranks back on the Salt of the Earth, bending Fenix's arm in a way it shouldn't. The referee calls for the bell! Winner: MJF Time: 7;19 Rating: 84% ---

It doesn't say Fenix tapped so I'm assuming the ref just decided to end things and call for the bell himself. Kind of like Vince in Montreal. Shame he can't do that anymore! Remember, VINCE SCREWED VINCE!!!

B Block: Daniel Garcia vs. CM Punk Jericho finally got the JAS on the board earlier in the evening, could this propel his stablemate to do the same? These two put on a clinic in there, with Garcia very smartly placing an emphasis over working on Punk's knees with an eye towards many of his signature moves, the least of which being the GTS. This all comes in to play at the finish as Punk does hit the GTS but Garcia is too close to the ropes, sliding himself out of the ring and leaving Punk favoring the knee in the ring. As Garcia recovers, he gets into the ring and relentlessly assults the knee further. He locks in a Sharpshooter and then goes a step further and bridges it for extra torque. With his knee in agony and a long tourney still ahead, PUNK TAPS!!! What an upset! Winner: Daniel Garcia Time: 16:39 Rating: 95% ---

Not familiar with AEW as you can imagine so is Garcia a guy who is even remotely close to being on the level with Punk? It's kind of jarring to see someone who's not a name in my eyes getting the duke over a big name. Still good to know Punk's doing wrestling. UNLIKE VINCE!!!

B Block: "The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson vs. Samoa Joe On paper this match was a no-brainer to close out the night as the two have a storied history with one another, battling many times across multiple promotions including a more than 45-minute ROH Title match way back in the day. Although it's been quite a long time since they've faced off, I'm sure their in-ring chemistry would pick right back up again. Instead we got a match that was solid but nowhere near what it could have been. Them's the breaks in Fire Pro. Bryan is pretty deadly in the Fire Pro realm with so many submission and pinning combinations. Such was on display here as Bryan ducked a clothesline and turned it into a quick backslide for the win just as the match was hitting its second gear. Winner: Bryan Danielson Time: 11:27 Rating: 80%

See, here's the problem with a match like this happening in this day and age. Yes, they're darlings and talented and all that jazz but they've been going 20+ years at this point. I don't really see much of a difference between this and Hogan and Flair headlining Raw. OK, the latter might make me hang myself with barbed wire but still. Granted this is just a game but in the real world, both guys deserve so much better at this point. If for no other reason than TO SHOVE IT VINCE'S FACE!!!

OK, enough of that.

I'll see what I can do about getting around to my Slammy nominees.

[M-A-G]

Still working on a whole list for all of the categories but this is what I've got so far for the nominations for Manager of the Year and Match of the Year:

Manager of the Year:
Jake Connelly
Paul Andrews
Luscious
Vivian Merrick
Nathan Quinn
Madison

Match of the Year:
Iron Woman Match: Jenna Kyle vs. Faith Connors on Raw
Hell in a Cell for the WWE Unified World Title: Noah Carmichael vs. Butch Fleming at SummerSlam
Last Man Standing for the WWE Intercontinental Title: Seth von Kamp vs. Brandon Reigns at Unforgiven
WWE Unified Tag Team Titles: The Future Foundation vs. The Dillingers at WrestleMania
Kerry Cemenko vs. Xavier Cross at the Night of Champions pre-show
The Play Pals vs. The Royal Effect at Unforgiven

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G Still working on a whole list for all of the categories but this is what I've got so far for the nominations for Manager of the Year and Match of the Year: Manager of the Year: Jake Connelly Paul Andrews Luscious Vivian Merrick Nathan Quinn Madison Match of the Year: Iron Woman Match: Jenna Kyle vs. Faith Connors on Raw Hell in a Cell for the WWE Unified World Title: Noah Carmichael vs. Butch Fleming at SummerSlam Last Man Standing for the WWE Intercontinental Title: Seth von Kamp vs. Brandon Reigns at Unforgiven WWE Unified Tag Team Titles: The Future Foundation vs. The Dillingers at WrestleMania Kerry Cemenko vs. Xavier Cross at the Night of Champions pre-show The Play Pals vs. The Royal Effect at Unforgiven

I'll have to go with Luscious and Kyle/Faith. But it is genuinely hilarious to imagine a pre-show match winning MOTY.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito I'll have to go with Luscious and Kyle/Faith. But it is genuinely hilarious to imagine a pre-show match winning MOTY.

Fuck, I forgot to put Brooke on the ballot. She had quite a year for herself. I don't think it would have helped much since Luscious seemed like a shoo-in to take this one. She has so many tremendous assets and attributes that helped her with this category. Lovely, beautiful, and useful assets....

It would be something if a women's match were to take the title of best of the year in real life. If anyone could pull it off it'd be those two lovely ladies. I'd imagine the rest of the nominees getting pissed and feeling looked over. I kind of felt obligated to include that pre-show match because I could picture the fans in that universe being outraged on the internet over it not being appreciated.

[M-A-G]

This should be the rest of the categories. Like I said, I'm not expecting anything to really blow up at Survivor Series at the 5-on-5 matches tend to not rate super high. If anything changes to where I think something noteworthy occurred, I'll make edits.

Woman of the Year (limiting it to actual competitors):
Hannah McCormick
Sonya Braddock
Faith Connors
Leah
Jenna Kyle
Naomi Bailey

Tag Team of the Year:
Future Foundation
The Royal Effect
The Play Pals
The Dillingers
The Wyldhearts
Galino & Farnes

Shocker of the Year:
Butch Fleming returns and wins the WWE Unified Title
Luscious turns on Martyn LaSalle and joins Michael Hotbody
Adam Hail and Simon Bennett return to win the Unified Tag Team Titles
Kyle Jacobs ends Salvatore Scabbia's two-year win streak at WrestleMania
Seth Von Kamp finally wins his first singles title
Brandon Reigns turns on Jake Connelly

Rookie of the Year:
Michael Hotbody
Eddy Clash
Nigel Gallagher
Neil Quint
Leah
Alexander Piero
Ethan Lang
Dusk
Ziggy Styles

Douche of the Year:
Brandon Reigns
Butch Fleming
Wrakk
Xavier Cross
Michael Hotbody
Salvatore Scabbia
Quentin McDaniels
Chris Collins

Noteworthy Moment of the Year:
Lisa Benton gains complete control after firing Vanessa.
Faith Connors and Jenna Kyle become the first Women's Tag Team Champions.
Adam Hail turns on Simon Bennett.
Jake Connelly retires.
The Play Pals are forced to split.

Cruiserweight of the Year:
Jason Sorola
Michael Hotbody
Jordan Demiras
Shawn Dangerson
Martyn LaSalle
Miles Shawcross

Superstar of the Year:
Xavier Cross
Haven
Noah Carmichael
Brandon Reigns
Butch Fleming
Wrakk
Ryan Pattillo
Seth Von Kamp
Salvatore Scabbia
Kyle Jacobs
Quentin McDaniels

[Evil Vito]

Woman of the Year: Sonya "Blade" Braddock

Tag Team: The Royal Effect

Shocker of the Year: I'll have to go with Fleming, the idea of someone coming off of a controversial longass suspension and then immediately getting rewarded would be a shocker

Rookie of the Year: Michael Hotbody, of course

Douche of the Year: Michael Hotbody, of course (lol this being added to his intro)

Noteworthy Moment: Faith and Jenna, HISTORY!

Cruiserweight of the Year: Jordan Demiras (just to give Hotbody something to complain about)

Superstar of the Year: I'll go with Brandon Reigns and his briefcase of doom

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito Woman of the Year: Sonya "Blade" Braddock Tag Team: The Royal Effect Shocker of the Year: I'll have to go with Fleming, the idea of someone coming off of a controversial longass suspension and then immediately getting rewarded would be a shocker Rookie of the Year: Michael Hotbody, of course Douche of the Year: Michael Hotbody, of course (lol this being added to his intro) Noteworthy Moment: Faith and Jenna, HISTORY! Cruiserweight of the Year: Jordan Demiras (just to give Hotbody something to complain about) Superstar of the Year: I'll go with Brandon Reigns and his briefcase of doom

Someone like Sonya taking the award despite wrestling, at the most, 12 times in a year would be something. Did Brock manage to accomplish something like that in real life? Either way, it gives Naomi something more to use against Sonya in their little tussle. Braddock really did own the fuck out of a lot of the chicks so her wrestling so little speaks volumes.

The Royal Effect taking Tag Team of the Year despite forming in the middle of the year and not being tag champions is quite a choice. I would imagine being responsible for breaking up a super group like the Hunters and having some of the best matches on any card tipped things in their favor.

I am already working on the details of how to incorporate Hotbody's Slammy nods into his entrance. For the Cruiserweight of the Year category I imagine him storming the stage and just taking the trophy for himself and giving himself another bullshit addition to his name.

Faith and Jenna being double Slammy winners, one for them fighting each other and the other for them teaming up is almost poetic and funny at the same time. At the same time, even more fuel to anger Naomi.

A heel taking Superstar of the Year would be interesting. If Reigns can't carry the Intercontinental Title along with his briefcase, I suppose a Slammy will suffice. And next year can only get better for him as that WrestleMania cash-in gets ever closer...supposedly.

[Evil Vito]

Yeah I was kinda imagining a situation where Sonya, Jenna, Naomi, and Faith have basically a dead heat with Sonya controversially winning by one vote or something.

And year Royal Effect are having 5 star matches nearly every show they're on, I imagine voters being begrudgingly like "man, these fuckers are really good aren't they?"

Reigns was a tough call, I just figured based on the number of accolades held during the year it could make some sense. In a way heels really are the best people to win Slammies as it's easy promo ammo but maybe that's Hotbody's thing. Not sure who else would take it though.

[Evil Vito]

Night 6!

C Block: Brody King vs. Hook

Continuing what happened on Night 5, two winlesss competitors squared off looking to secure their first points in the tournament. Poor Hook got absolutely throttled here, this match played out in such a way that it was the single biggest drubbing in the entire tournament so far. This was all Brody all the way and the big man grabs 2 points following the Gonzo Bomb in a quick one.

Winner: Brody King
Time: 4:27
Rating: 62%
--

D Block: Adam Cole vs. Buddy Matthews

Inspired by his House of Black stablemate finally getting a win, Buddy Matthews looked to do the same against a game Adam Cole. Unfortunately luck was not on his side. Buddy carried all of the early momentum but he couldn't quite put Cole down before he started to mount a head of steam in comeback. A stellar match full of vicious knees thrown at each other ends quite appropriately with Cole lowering The Boom right to the back of Buddy's head.

Winner: Adam Cole
Time: 16:24
Rating: 96%
---

C Block: Luchasaurus vs. "The Redeemer" Miro

On paper this looked like it'd be a serious hoss fight between the unbeaten and the winless. Instead we got another stinker of a showing from Miro. Given how strong he's booked on AEW television, it's kinda fascinating to see him just get his ass kicked in Fire Pro. I'm trying to imagine how they'd actually play this off in reality, I can only assume Miro would just look completely unfocused. Dammit Lana! Anyway, Luchasaurus puts Miro away with the Land Before Time to go 3-0 and send one of the block favorites to a shocking 0-3.

Winner: Luchasaurus
Time: 7:18
Rating: 64%
---

For the third time in as many shows, Jungle Boy is booked to wrestle right after Luchasaurus but this time the security detail thought better of it and had the face tunnel covered before Jungle Boy could try to have another go at Luchasaurus. What would happen if these two have to meet in the semi-finals bah gawd?

D Block: Jungle Boy vs. "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara

After two largely terrible one-sided matches from the C Block, the D Block is definitely picking up the slack and delivering the goods. These two men have been described as being two of the four "pillars" of young AEW talent as the company first got its footing, and they gelled really well in this one. Crowd reaction intensified as Jungle Boy's lovable plucky underdog played a sharp contrast to Sammy's smarmy dickhead self.

Sammy looks like he's got Jungle Boy ready to be put away for the kill. Picks him up for a GTH only for Jungle Boy to reverse out of it and spike Sammy on his head with a Poisonrana! Jungle Boy wins!

Winner: Jungle Boy
Time: 14:43
Rating: 91%
---

C Block: Eddie Kingston vs. Penta Oscuro

These two men are former friends, forging an alliance back during the pandemic days of AEW. But there's no time for friends in a tournament setting like this. True to their hardcore style, this match almost immediately got taken out to the floor with gratuitous use of the barricade. Bryce Remsburg's arm must've gotten worn out from the amount of times he had to start and restart his countout attempts.

Once the match got back into the ring, Penta was able to leverage his quickness to keep Eddie off his game. Penta connects with a Fear Factor too close to the ropes, and then tries again and Eddie, being a tough and stubborn bastard kicks out! Penta remains undeterred and hits him with a third Fear Factor to finally end it.

Winner: Penta Oscuro
Time: 11:38
Rating: 85%
---

D Block: "Limitless" Keith Lee vs. Kenny Omega

This is a match I'd quite like to see in real life, Lee moves so much better than a guy his size has any right to and Omega for my money is the best worker in the world nowadays. Anyway this was all about Omega managing to find a way to stay clear of Lee's high impact power moves, which he was able to do so successfully. A few V-Triggers are unable to put the big man down so Omega had to go to the next plan: show off his surprising strength by hoisting the big Lee up on his shoulders for a One Winged Angel! Nobody kicks out of that one!

Winner: Kenny Omega
Time: 9:28
Rating: 84%
---

C Block: Frankie Kazarian vs. Jon Moxley

When we last saw Kazarian, he was pulling off a surprise upset over Miro. Watching Miro tonight, it would be easy to question if maybe he just took advantage of a slumping opponent and that he'd come back down to earth against the unbeaten Moxley. Instead what we got was Kazarian proving he can absolutely rise to the level of the competition. Both men throw everything they have at one another, Kazarian narrowly avoids a Paradigm Shift and instead hits Mox with a D.O.A. for the win. Kazarian has just pinned the Interim World Champion!

Winner: Frankie Kazarian
Time: 10:24
Rating: 90%
---

D Block: Christian Cage vs. "Mr. Mayhem" Wardlow

This match was a masterclass in crowd reaction as Christian remains just about the most hated heel in the company and Wardlow is currently over as all fuck. I can just imagine the boos as Christian keeps finding ways to slither out of the Powerbomb as he did in this match. Christian keeps trying to resort to some underhanded tactics but gets thwarted at every turn. Wardlow finally connects with a Powerbomb which gets a massive pop. Wardlow decides this isn't enough punishment for an asshole like Christian so he picks him back up and hits him with a F-10 to close it out.

Winner: Wardlow
Time: 11:44
Rating: 94%
---

C Block: "Hangman" Adam Page vs. "Absolute" Ricky Starks

There's some definite bad blood in the C Block main event of the evening. The last time these two men faced off, it was early 2021 and Starks suffered a neck fracture during the match and it could've been a whole lot worse. So suffice to say, these two went hell for leather at each other right from the opening bell and never really let up.

Hangman connects with a Dead Eye, dropping Starks right on his previously damaged neck but he kicks out! Page goes to Plan B and heads to the apron for a Buckshot Lariat but Starks thwarts the attempt with a Superkick. Picks Page up and connects with the Roshambo for a huge win.

Winner: Ricky Starks
Time: 10:29
Rating: 83%
---

D Block: "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy vs. Claudio Castagnoli

Capping off the night in a big way with two fan favorites meeting up with the winner guaranteed to end the night in sole possession of first place through the first third of the tournament. Unfortunately, this match would probably be way more fun in real life than it was in Fire Pro. The game doesn't know what match is the main event since you just play individual matches within league mode...but it sure feels like they're hellbent on making every main event be mildly underwhelming.

Anyway, they never quite got out of second gear here but it was a fairly even contest throughout. The finishing spot I imagined being pretty dope though. Claudio whips Cassidy off the ropes, shoots him high into the air for a big uppercut but instead, Cassidy hits a Stundog Millionaire on the way down to get the win outta nowhere.

Winner: Orange Cassidy
Time: 10:30
Rating: 74%

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito Night 6! C Block: Brody King vs. Hook Continuing what happened on Night 5, two winlesss competitors squared off looking to secure their first points in the tournament. Poor Hook got absolutely throttled here, this match played out in such a way that it was the single biggest drubbing in the entire tournament so far. This was all Brody all the way and the big man grabs 2 points following the Gonzo Bomb in a quick one. Winner: Brody King Time: 4:27 Rating: 62% --

See, this is why I can't see something like this tournament working in the WWE. There's no way they'd go this long letting somebody stand with zero points. Everyone's a winner, trophies for participation. The Gonzo Bomb isn't what I think it is, right?

D Block: Adam Cole vs. Buddy Matthews Inspired by his House of Black stablemate finally getting a win, Buddy Matthews looked to do the same against a game Adam Cole. Unfortunately luck was not on his side. Buddy carried all of the early momentum but he couldn't quite put Cole down before he started to mount a head of steam in comeback. A stellar match full of vicious knees thrown at each other ends quite appropriately with Cole lowering The Boom right to the back of Buddy's head. Winner: Adam Cole Time: 16:24 Rating: 96% ---

Sorry, but Buddy Matthews is such a jobber name, I think. I'd need to see him to really make a fair call because I feel like I'm being mean. I at least know Cole and his history before moving on up to the majors.

C Block: Luchasaurus vs. "The Redeemer" Miro On paper this looked like it'd be a serious hoss fight between the unbeaten and the winless. Instead we got another stinker of a showing from Miro. Given how strong he's booked on AEW television, it's kinda fascinating to see him just get his ass kicked in Fire Pro. I'm trying to imagine how they'd actually play this off in reality, I can only assume Miro would just look completely unfocused. Dammit Lana! Anyway, Luchasaurus puts Miro away with the Land Before Time to go 3-0 and send one of the block favorites to a shocking 0-3. Winner: Luchasaurus Time: 7:18 Rating: 64% ---

Dude, Lana must have some glorious pie to be affecting Miro in this fashion.

D Block: Jungle Boy vs. "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara After two largely terrible one-sided matches from the C Block, the D Block is definitely picking up the slack and delivering the goods. These two men have been described as being two of the four "pillars" of young AEW talent as the company first got its footing, and they gelled really well in this one. Crowd reaction intensified as Jungle Boy's lovable plucky underdog played a sharp contrast to Sammy's smarmy dickhead self. Sammy looks like he's got Jungle Boy ready to be put away for the kill. Picks him up for a GTH only for Jungle Boy to reverse out of it and spike Sammy on his head with a Poisonrana! Jungle Boy wins! Winner: Jungle Boy Time: 14:43 Rating: 91% ---

Spanish God seems like the right way to go for a nickname. It's simple and broad, not too specific, otherwise you'd be making the fans have to spell something like Xothchipeloauticanehan or whatever.

C Block: Eddie Kingston vs. Penta Oscuro These two men are former friends, forging an alliance back during the pandemic days of AEW. But there's no time for friends in a tournament setting like this. True to their hardcore style, this match almost immediately got taken out to the floor with gratuitous use of the barricade. Bryce Remsburg's arm must've gotten worn out from the amount of times he had to start and restart his countout attempts. Once the match got back into the ring, Penta was able to leverage his quickness to keep Eddie off his game. Penta connects with a Fear Factor too close to the ropes, and then tries again and Eddie, being a tough and stubborn bastard kicks out! Penta remains undeterred and hits him with a third Fear Factor to finally end it. Winner: Penta Oscuro Time: 11:38 Rating: 85% ---

Fear Factor would be a great tag team name. I'm sure someone's done it. Yes, I know of the Faces of Fear but that doesn't count.

D Block: "Limitless" Keith Lee vs. Kenny Omega This is a match I'd quite like to see in real life, Lee moves so much better than a guy his size has any right to and Omega for my money is the best worker in the world nowadays. Anyway this was all about Omega managing to find a way to stay clear of Lee's high impact power moves, which he was able to do so successfully. A few V-Triggers are unable to put the big man down so Omega had to go to the next plan: show off his surprising strength by hoisting the big Lee up on his shoulders for a One Winged Angel! Nobody kicks out of that one! Winner: Kenny Omega Time: 9:28 Rating: 84% ---

OK, I looked up what these guys looked like and no freaking way a dude like Omega is hoisting up a dude like Lee for that.

C Block: Frankie Kazarian vs. Jon Moxley When we last saw Kazarian, he was pulling off a surprise upset over Miro. Watching Miro tonight, it would be easy to question if maybe he just took advantage of a slumping opponent and that he'd come back down to earth against the unbeaten Moxley. Instead what we got was Kazarian proving he can absolutely rise to the level of the competition. Both men throw everything they have at one another, Kazarian narrowly avoids a Paradigm Shift and instead hits Mox with a D.O.A. for the win. Kazarian has just pinned the Interim World Champion! Winner: Frankie Kazarian Time: 10:24 Rating: 90% ---

First Miro, then Moxley? WTF, does this game have a hard on for Kazarian?

D Block: Christian Cage vs. "Mr. Mayhem" Wardlow This match was a masterclass in crowd reaction as Christian remains just about the most hated heel in the company and Wardlow is currently over as all fuck. I can just imagine the boos as Christian keeps finding ways to slither out of the Powerbomb as he did in this match. Christian keeps trying to resort to some underhanded tactics but gets thwarted at every turn. Wardlow finally connects with a Powerbomb which gets a massive pop. Wardlow decides this isn't enough punishment for an asshole like Christian so he picks him back up and hits him with a F-10 to close it out. Winner: Wardlow Time: 11:44 Rating: 94% ---

If you're really going to double the F-5 you'd end up with the L-10.

C Block: "Hangman" Adam Page vs. "Absolute" Ricky Starks There's some definite bad blood in the C Block main event of the evening. The last time these two men faced off, it was early 2021 and Starks suffered a neck fracture during the match and it could've been a whole lot worse. So suffice to say, these two went hell for leather at each other right from the opening bell and never really let up. Hangman connects with a Dead Eye, dropping Starks right on his previously damaged neck but he kicks out! Page goes to Plan B and heads to the apron for a Buckshot Lariat but Starks thwarts the attempt with a Superkick. Picks Page up and connects with the Roshambo for a huge win. Winner: Ricky Starks Time: 10:29 Rating: 83% ---

What, is the Roshambo just a punt to the nuts?

D Block: "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy vs. Claudio Castagnoli Capping off the night in a big way with two fan favorites meeting up with the winner guaranteed to end the night in sole possession of first place through the first third of the tournament. Unfortunately, this match would probably be way more fun in real life than it was in Fire Pro. The game doesn't know what match is the main event since you just play individual matches within league mode...but it sure feels like they're hellbent on making every main event be mildly underwhelming. Anyway, they never quite got out of second gear here but it was a fairly even contest throughout. The finishing spot I imagined being pretty dope though. Claudio whips Cassidy off the ropes, shoots him high into the air for a big uppercut but instead, Cassidy hits a Stundog Millionaire on the way down to get the win outta nowhere. Winner: Orange Cassidy Time: 10:30 Rating: 74%

I always preferred the big uppercut to the giant swing when Claudio was in the WWE. It was something out of Street Fighter.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G The Gonzo Bomb isn't what I think it is, right?

Probably not.

Sorry, but Buddy Matthews is such a jobber name, I think. I'd need to see him to really make a fair call because I feel like I'm being mean. I at least know Cole and his history before moving on up to the majors.

He's on the right here. Sticks out like a sore thumb in the House of Black but he has a good look. Was Buddy Murphy in NXT and later shortened to just Murphy on the main roster. I guess he felt he needed to keep the Buddy name in an effort to sound recognizable but it sounds kinda dumb. Dude's indy name was Matt Silva which sounded way better to me.

Fear Factor would be a great tag team name. I'm sure someone's done it. Yes, I know of the Faces of Fear but that doesn't count.

Could absolutely see it being a couple of high flying dudes in a team like that. Knowing WWE they'd actually turn it into a team about the show though, show them backstage eating gross shit etc. And they'd probably try to reach out to Joe Rogan because we live in hell.

OK, I looked up what these guys looked like and no freaking way a dude like Omega is hoisting up a dude like Lee for that.

Kenny's a strong dude but yeah I'd shit my britches if he could actually pull that off. Not everybody can possess Claudio's otherworldly strength.

First Miro, then Moxley? WTF, does this game have a hard on for Kazarian?

I'm really surprised by some of these results. As the tournament progresses I try to schedule matches later and later that have higher stakes and it feels damn wrong that Kazarian is sitting there as a potential block winner in the early going. I like the guy but damn.

What, is the Roshambo just a punt to the nuts?

a punt to the nuts would be funny, but nah it looks like this in its normal form, pretty good



My favorite iteration though was when he countered Jay Lethal's Lethal Injection finisher with it

[Evil Vito]

A third of the way through group play, here is where everyone stands on points:

A Block
6 points: Andrade El Idolo
4 points: Darby Allin, Ethan Page, Kyle O'Reilly, MJF, Swerve Strickland
2 points: Chris Jericho, Rey Fenix
0 points: Lance Archer, Wheeler Yuta

B Block
6 points: Bryan Danielson
4 points: CM Punk, Dustin Rhodes, Jay Lethal, Malakai Black
2 points: Daniel Garcia, PAC, Samoa Joe, Scorpio Sky
0 points: Powerhouse Hobbs

C Block
6 points: Luchasaurus, Ricky Starks
4 points: Frankie Kazarian, Jon Moxley, Penta Oscuro
2 points: Adam Page, Brody King, Eddie Kingston
0 points: Hook, Miro

D Block
6 points: Orange Cassidy
4 points: Adam Cole, Claudio Castagnoli, Jungle Boy, Kenny Omega, Wardlow
2 points: Christian Cage, Keith Lee
0 points: Buddy Matthews, Sammy Guevara